Attention Caltrainiacs: don't plan on taking the N line home this evening, because it's not running like it used to. Ever-vigilant Muniwatcher Jamison has informed us that some wacky car-driver done gone crashed themselves into a train, so a bunch of the N cars are stranded out by the ocean with no way to get back downtown.

But fear not! Muni is running secret shuttle busses. You won't find any information about them on Muni's gawdawful website, or on the Satan-loving 511.org. But trust us, they're out there -- you just have to know who to ask. We inquired with Muni contacts and learned that you can catch the busses at the normal above-ground shelters on the street ouside of the subway stations. The bus marquee might read "ask driver for destination," in which case you should do just that to make sure you're boarding the right bus. Or check with an agent in the station for directions.

Hey, wait a minute, isn't this really confusing? Why, yes. Thank you for riding Muni.

You can call Muni's info line for details at 415-673-6864 -- don't be deterred by the complete silence on the other end; after a wait time of five to ten minutes, a person will eventually pick up the phone. Muni is happy to supply you with information. You just have to want it enough.