Waiters: is there any greater enigma in life? What mysterious beings they are, with their neck ties and platters and ability to pronounce the names of foreign foods. Never before has the public been invited into their impenetrable world -- until now. Local artist Sean Seamus McWhinny's " pulls back the curtain on the innermost ponderings of the polite lanky homosexuals who feed us.

It's a shortish book -- eight pages offer a tantalizingly brief glimpse into waiterdom. Sean's patience is vaguely tested by symbolic devils; he harbors a crush on a familar diner; and he quietly resents his affianced customers for exercising a right that he has been denied. There's nothing terribly groundbreaking about gays feeling excluded from wedding culture, but Sean's book serves to confirm what we've always feared: our waiters judge us in constant, silent, and excruciating detail.

Diary of a Catering Whore: Mostly True Stories From a Catering Waiter