You know what they need in Redwood City? The Redwood City Twirlers kids baton troupe (ages 9-14) has been told they will not be permitted to march in the city's annual July 4 parade because the kids walk too slow.

Officials decided they wouldn't invite the Redwood City Twirlers back because last year they created a three-minute gap, and people have noticed that they've slowed down the parade for the last five years. Oh, like there's so much going on in Redwood City that the parade can't take three more minutes on a holiday weekend!

Well, we suppose because of those wasted three minutes, no one had the time to even call the Redwood City Twirler coach to let her know the kids weren't going to be in the parade this year -- she only found out when someone called to say she missed the application deadline and she realized she hadn't been invited. She doesn't know what to tell the team: "These kids have been practicing all year long and they look forward to being in their own hometown parade — inviting their teachers, their neighbors and their friends. I’m a little depressed about the whole thing, I don't have the heart to tell them. They think they’re in it." (though the kids do seem to have figured it out by now.)

The troupe has been invited to twirl on stage, where they can be efficiently whisked on and offstage, but the coach hasn't decided if she's going to accept the offer or not. The heartless parade chair says, "It’s a decision we hate having to make. That's the hard part of it, I like showcasing talent from our own backyard." No, he doesn't!

Picture of Redwood City Twirlers Bridgette Howard and Madelyn Benitez from the San Mateo Daily Journal.

A heart.