A reader of SFist Answers writes in anonymously:
This year, I'm celebrating my last under-21 New Years Eve. What fun things can the local twenty year old chick do to bring in the new year with her friends? In response to the obvious answer, sadly none of us have fake ids, so that's out the window. Have fun answering that one, cause it's a doozie.
Well, anonymous reader, would it help if we told you one of the most special nights of our life was when, as an 18-year-old, three of us went into the hills and romped through nature and rolled through chaparral by moonlight? Just so you know what kind of dork you are getting advice from here.
Our suggestion--make the holiday about each other; make it something personal. Have people over for dinner--maybe a potluck, or, better yet, cook everything at one person's place, together. Shop together. Celebrate your self-sufficiency and your ability to have fun on your own terms, not those dictated by popular media. This isn't to say that you guys shouldn't, perhaps, arrange to have some champagne or the like -- we are not so naive to think that 20-year-olds don't drink. It's just that you'll have plenty of future chances to pay abhorrent costs for the privilege of puking at the Tonga Room when you're of age, and it kinda sucks anyway when you think about it. So that's our jaded, 30-something point of view--but maybe some of our insightful readers can steer you better? If y'all in the peanut gallery have ideas, leave 'em in the comments section.
Yet Another Sexually Frustrated Confused Twentysomething writes:
I met someone this summer. We hit it off, until he had to leave for college. Things weren't serious, and then all of a sudden they were. Him leaving was hard, but we said we'd give an open relationship a shot. I knew it couldn't be exclusive, so I made a point of trying to meet guys in San Francisco. I thought things were just "going with the flow" as he called it. Out of the blue, he "broke it off". He said it was too hard to try and keep things going, especially living so far away from each other. Of course I thought it was me, but it really wasn't. He wants to be friends, but we each know we still have feelings for each other. We sure as hell can't just be friends, and we don't want to get into the pitfall of a long distance relationship. Just like communism, we know that "Friends with benefits**" can't exist in a pure form because of human nature. What kind of relationship is best for the two of us?
**The term friends with benefits should be tortured, burned and sent to hell for all eternity, never to be uttered again.
Again, we hate to sound like crusty old jaded guy, and reader comments are more than welcome, but it seems pretty obvious to us. You guys had a good, casual thing--then he's leaving, he's scared, so he grabs onto things in his current life and starts squeezing like an anaconda. When he gets to school and discovers he can handle it, he gets out of panic mode and realizes that he was premature in getting to serious so fast.
Look, Confused--we're not saying it should be over between you two. See him if and when he comes around, but don't put too much stock into the relationship and don't let him use you as a life saver whenever the going gets rough. If it comes to the point where he sacrifices his time, freedom, and other serious thing for your sake, that's when you can start thinking about this guy as long-term material. But until then? Keep your expectations low and live your life.