Sometimes we at SFist break the law. Not necessarily in a "hold up the local 7-Eleven" kind of way, but in a "oh crap that schoolbus had its lights flashing" kind of way. Five-hundred and sixteen dollars later, we’re ready to sign up for traffic school. If you're a San Francisco County resident you're lucky enough to have the option of an online class, which we hear you can burn through in about 15 minutes. In Marin, and other counties you are forced to spend the entire eight hours in a damp Veteran’s Hall with no windows. Our ownership of a Lexus and penchant for comfortable shoes made us choose Marin County as our place of residence, but we had second thoughts as we looked forward to a day of Signal 30 viewing with only a sweater standing between us and dankness.

Enter Comedy Pizza 4U. The website is not terribly informative, and somewhat misleading. Turns out you get either the pizza OR the comedy, but not both. Or, much like Carrot Top, perhaps our teacher wasn’t all that funny of a comedian. We did learn a few things, though. Who knew that if you have your windshield wipers on, you must also have your lights on, or that it's OK to swing into a gas station and drive out the other side in order to avoid traffic. But mostly we learned that our teacher has a sad, sad life. And a thing for midgets. He kept telling us how much he liked them. Seriously.

These classes cost somewhere between $25-$45, and will clear up any points the ticket would have put on your permanent record. This doesn't exclude you from paying the cost of the ticket, you have to take care of that before you even attend the class. So it may seem like a hassle (and it is) or that it's not worth the extra effort (and man is it an effort), but your auto insurance rates really do go up even with just one extra point on your record.

So plop yourself down in front of a computer, or gear youself up to be annoyed at everyone in the room with you for an entire Sunday -- 'cause it's going to be a loooong day. In a sweater. With midgets.

Image from the Huntington Beach Police Dept.

Join contributing SFist Amanda as she braves the fresh hell of traffic school, so we don't have to