Oh Cwap! It's raining like a mofo out there! Maybe you can't stay dry, but at least you've got the Essefficist to keep you warm.

We've got two questions today. The first one's right out of Dear Abby:

My eleven-year-old daughter dresses like a whore. What can I do about it?

-Christie

Oh, Christie, you know we all have these kinds of problems sometimes. All we can really tell you is that girls will be girls and teenagers will be teenagers. She'll get over it. Console yourself with the thought that at least you don't have to change her diapers anymore. (And by the way, here's something fun, relevant, and, hopefully for Christie, comforting, that you find if you Google "eleven year old.")

Moving on to a slightly more serious realm, here's a question from someone you know and love:

So at eleven o'clock last night I was walking home with my friend Bayete after picking up some Thai food. I'm as white as they come and still wearing my work clothes -- black sweater, slacks, shoes. Bayete, who's black, is wearing a down jacket, jeans, and a bandana. So it's cold, late, I'm tired and a little tipsy, and decide to hail a cab. A taxi comes down 24th heading east from Mission, I flag it, he slows down, as I begin to walk up, Bayete follows, and suddenly the cab darts away. Needless to say, I'm not pleased. Some things were shouted after him to the effect of "You racist motherf**ker."

So my question is, what's the best way to lay the smackdown on cab driving bigots? Can I call some city commission, report the incident, time, location and car number and walk away knowing that this guy's going to at least get fined or maybe lose his badge? Or do I need to have video taped evidence, fill out lots of paperwork and attend hearings?

Anotsfistjacksonymous

Ouch. Not being Travis Bickle ourselves, we turned to our good friend Jerkowitz, a longtime San Francisco cabdriver, who gave us the skinny.

Dear Essefficist-