"In these State of the State speeches, governors often begin by listing their accomplishments of the past year. I will do the same.

The year before I took office as governor, California had 300 days of sunshine. Last year, under my administration, we had 312 days of sunshine. That's what true leadership is all about."

Har har. After that it wasn't so funny. We're talking privatizing the state pension ("For new employees, we must move from a defined benefit to a defined contribution system."), handing over redistricting to an "independent group of retired judges," (who, as retirees, would not necessarily be beholden to the stringent ethics of someone actually on the bench), changing the pay structure for teachers to award merit instead of seniority, conducting an investigation into the state's prison system (good luck with that), the ever-popular prescription drug card, spurring new home contruction by removing regulatory impediments, and spending on roads -- no mention of high-density development or public transportation.

Landon Parvin, a former Reagan speechwriter who was suggested to Arnie by his better half, wrote the Governator's speech last year and yesterday's effort was similarly bland and humorless, with a heavy dose of insincere populist glurge. We have not been able to confirm who wrote the speech, but it definitely wasn't the governor -- he didn't use a single line from one of his films, or "girlie men."

Photo by Rich Pedroncelli, AP, via the Sacramento Bee.