SFist loves the healthy California lifestyle like anyone else. We love being outdoors, eating healthy foods, getting our exercise. But we also love drinking and smoking. Is that a crime? That seems to be where we're headed.

There's a move afoot to ban smoking in all San Francisco parks. That's right - you can't smoke at work, in restaurants or bars or at most of your friend's houses. Basically you have the middle of the street left. That's sure one way to cut down on smokers. Of course you could always head out to Ocean Beach, which is state land, but by the time you get there Leland Yee may have banned smoking there, too.

So let's say you get caught smoking somewhere inappropriate. You're walking down a sidewalk, enjoying a smooth, full-flavor tobacco cigarette and you step out of the way of a passing pram onto the grass of the panhandle. Boom! You're fined. So of course you dump the ticket in the next trash can. The fine festers, fees are added, it's handed off to a collection agency, who comes to repo your car. Naturally you scream at the guy and push him to the ground when he tries to nab your ride. Well now it's felony assault, mister, and you're headed off to state prison, where - guess what - tobacco products are now illegal! At that point you start sharpening your shiv...

We thought the Governator was a Republican of the fiscally conservative, socially liberal mold! Sure, he has no problem with smoking marijuana - he seems to have enjoyed it in his past. And he is well known for his love of fine Cuban cigars (um, hello, Trading with the Enemy Act?), come hell or high water. And being a Republican, didn't he have to hang with all those tobacco company puppets from the Southeast at the convention? Without cigarettes as currency, how will prisoners learn the fundamentals of the free market? Somebody call Ann Coulter.