We here at the Essefficist, SFist's weekly question-and-answer/advice column, have been striving to bring you honest answers to life's nagging questions for the past couple of weeks now. However, we're a little concerned that our efforts have been unsatisfying to you, the reading public.

Why? Because we haven't been asked a single question. Not one. (At least not since we sent an email to our friends asking for some before we wrote the first column.) None. Has anyone asked, "Where should I go to buy a dozen eggs?" Nope. What about, "Who should I ask to the Junior Prom?" Not that one either. "Is it a pleasant surprise or a huge disappointment that the Giants are a game-and-a-half back of the Cubs in the wild card race?" No, no one's inquired as to the nature of that particular pancake. "How could it possibly be that Flann O'Brien's "The Third Policeman" is so amazingly funny but no one reads it?" Not that we've noticed. "Why does my boyfriend always lie to me about the size of his manhood, and should I dump him if he keeps on doing it?" That's not in the inbox either.

(Also, we've only received two measly comments, one from our august editor, Jackson West, and one from a guy we think might have gotten into a little spat with our august editor, Jackson West, elsewhere in the comment boards over some doubts raised by our site's moniker.)

Some of you may recall that we've promised to illuminate you regarding Steve M's question about casual sex and Craig's List, and believe us, we're working on it, oh, we're working on it. But whether people actually score with strangers via the Bay Area's favorite online message board can't possibly be the only thing on your minds, can it? Well, maybe, but c'mon, come up with something else for us to help you out with. So, as my main man Vida Blue always says, help the kids and help yourself by sending your questions to the Essefficist. Or just post 'em in the comments.