"Aging is a sin,” Madonna says in a recorded video montage that plays toward the end of her Celebration Tour setlist. "I think the most controversial thing I've ever done is stick around."

You may have heard the venerable, the influential, the tireless and great Madonna say something similar before. And there is no question that Madonna stands alone. She is peerless, particularly in the echelon of stardom that she essentially invented — alongside, arguably, Michael Jackson, to whom she also pays awkward tribute in the show, but I'll get to that in a minute.

We have yet to see, at least in American culture, anyone of her icon status and strata of fame get to the age of 65 and keep going.

You can argue that Cher, at 77, comes close, but for all her popularity and glamour and gay-icon status, Cher was never Madonna. And Cher is not selling out arenas doing a greatest hits tour at 65 — albeit smaller-sized arenas than Beyonce and Taylor Swift these days.

Beyonce and Taylor, if they're lucky, will reach this stage in a couple decades and maybe they, too, will make questionable cosmetic surgery choices and still keep touring.

But for now, there is only Madonna, defying society's norms and assumptions, having recovered from last summer's health scare. And she proved on Tuesday night that she is every bit the icon and commander of a stage that she always was — save for a couple flubs and stumbles, and some pretty obvious stiffness, especially in heels. She's enjoying perhaps a well-earned rest from being a workhorse dancer and singer, and unlike her tours of 15 or 20 years back, she doesn't try to keep up with all the choreo, generally remaining at the center of flurries of high kicks and spinning shirtless men to distract the eye.

Ever the expert curator and hirer of talent, Madonna has brought in the excellent Bob the Drag Queen to serve as emcee of sorts, with Bob woven in to multiple numbers, adding energy and wit, and serving the "Pray Tell" role calling out scores — all "Tens across the board!" naturally — during a terrific "Vogue" tribute to the ballroom scene that inspired the song.

There was something meta in that number as well, with Beyonce's recent sampling/cover of "Vogue," featured in a remix "Break My Soul," dappled into the number.

The show is full of spectacle and fantastic dancing, as well as the surprise guests of three of Madonna's younger children — David Banda, playing guitar; Mercy James, who just turned 18, playing classical piano and then accompanying her mother on a quiet version of the song "Bad Girl"; and one of the twins, Estere, vogue-ing and duck-walking with the best of them during Vogue.

Madonna is hoisted twice into a floating box that glides high above the stage through the arena — movingly, she sings "Live to Tell" from there as images of artists and others who died during the AIDS epidemic are flashed on multiple projection screens.

And "Like a Prayer," which utilizes a Jesus carousel of sorts — an actual spinning carousel adorned with crosses and filled with male dancers "crucified" in loin cloths — that Madonna sings from the top of, is a gloriously blasphemous throwback to the great Madonna numbers of yore, skewering Catholic iconography.

The final showstopper comes with a wittily conceived parade of Madonnas, dancers in various Madonna drag from every stage of her career — Truth or Dare, A League of Their Own, "Justify My Love," "Material Girl," the "Rain" video, they're all there. In that crowd of avatars, Madonna seems a bit overshadowed by her own numerous images though, and her own costume, a blue veil, doesn't make a ton of sense.

While there is satisfaction in seeing Madonna still going at it, and delivering the hits one after another — which at times, on other tours, she was reluctant to do when she had new music to promote — it's hard to call this a perfect triumph.

During her only real moment of banter — which never, with her, feels unscripted — in the last third of the show, Madonna did some hedging about her own performance, saying, "I do my best," and things like, "I look like trash, right?", fishing for fans to tell her "No, not at all."

She of course doesn't look like trash, but there was a small stumble early on about which she is likely hard on herself, during "Into the Groove." And even the final second of the show was marred by a flub — as Madonna was lowered by a lift beneath the stage, she called out, "Goodnight, Sacramento! — er — I mean, goodnight, San Francisco! Ugh I knew I was going to do that."

She had just played Sacramento over the weekend. Give her a break!

But just back to the Michael Jackson thing. At nearly the close of the show, a montage gets introduced while two stand-ins for Madonna and "Thriller"-era Michael Jackson dance as shadows behind a screen. The montage shows multiple images of Madonna and Michael, at the height of their respective fame moments, being friends and appearing together at a couple of events. This seems intended to remind anyone in the audience under the age of 35 just how famous she was at one time, but it also seems like it's just Madonna's sincere — if self-serving? — tribute to her lost friend, who died fifteen years ago.

It doesn't really fit neatly in the show and its purpose is pretty ambiguous — and is Madonna looking to set aside all the posthumous disgrace that has come to Jackson's story to present this 15-year-later homage in the middle of her greatest-hits set?

It was a bit jarring, and didn't exactly set us up for the fun of the final numbers. But, like a number of bits from the Madame X tour, it felt like something odd that Madonna herself must have insisted on including and no one argued with her.

Maybe that's just the privilege that comes along with being the last one standing. And while committing the sin of aging, perhaps she doesn't want to be accused of the sin of forgetting who she's outlasted.

'Madonna: The Celebration Tour' plays a second night at the Chase Center tonight, Feb. 28. Showtime is listed 8:30 pm but she goes on a little after 10.

Top photo by Kevin Mazur

The scheduling fallout from Madonna's early July health crisis is now yielding some new concert dates for the Chase Center in SF — and a third date that had been earlier added in January is getting canceled.

Madonna suffered what she described as a "serious bacterial infection" in July, weeks prior to when she was scheduled to kick off a North American tour in Vancouver — the first tour she has ever done billed as a greatest-hits tour. That landed her briefly in the intensive-care unit, and while she seems to be recovering, the kickoff of the tour was moved from July 15 to October 14, in London.

Originally scheduled to come to San Francisco's Chase Center October 4 and 5, she'll now be honoring the two dates on February 27 and 28.

A third date on the original schedule at the Chase Center on January 15 has been canceled due to a scheduling conflict. And she will be playing Sacramento's Golden 1 Center on February 24, instead of the originally planned January 13.

Ticketholders for the January date at Chase Center can seek refunds from where they purchased their tickets. Tickets for the October 4 and 5 dates will be honored on the February dates.

As Bay Area News Group notes, her Los Angeles dates have become more complicated, with refunds required for September and October dates formerly scheduled at Crypto.com Arena, and which will now be at KIA Forum in early March.

As Madonna said in an Instagram post last month, she hates to disappoint her fans, but "My focus now is my health and getting stronger and I can assure you, I’ll be back with you as soon as I can!"

The stalwart Material Girl appears to be doing okay, and an Instagram Story posted today shows her celebrating her son Rocco's 23rd birthday somewhere in Europe — possibly Portugal, where she bought a home several years back. As fans know, both she and her son are Leos and their birthdays are just days apart, so they often celebrate together. Madonna will turn 65 tomorrow, August 16.

Previously: Madonna's October Shows at Chase Center Officially Postponed Following Health Scare

Top image via Instagram

Madonna's "Celebration Tour" appears to be on hold, with the North American leg likely pushing into next year at this point, as she recovers from a major health issue that landed her in intensive care last month. That also means her appearances at the Chase Center have been postponed.

The mighty Madonna was in rehearsals for her greatest-hits tour late last month when she suffered some kind of bacterial infection, and she was found unresponsive June 24 in her Manhattan apartment. After reportedly being intubated in the ICU, she was soon released from the hospital, but it sounds as though her full recovery will go slowly.

In a post to social media Monday, Madonna says that her first thought upon waking up in the hospital was her children, but her "second thought was that I did not want to disappoint anyone who bought tickets for my tour."

"I hate to disappoint anyone," she writes.

"My focus now is my health and getting stronger and I can assure you, I’ll be back with you as soon as I can!" Madonna says, adding that the "current plan is to reschedule the North American leg of the tour, and to begin [the tour] in October in Europe."

The Chase Center website now has "Postponed" next to the originally scheduled shows on October 4 and 5. A third date of the "Celebration Tour" that was added on January 15 is not listed as postponed, and tickets are still available.

The tour, first announced in January, was originally scheduled to kick off in Vancouver later this week, with the European leg starting October 14 with four shows at London's O2 Arena — and concluding with two more shows back in London in early December.

With the update, Madonna also posted a photo of herself looking healthy.

Previously: Madonna Tour On Hold As Singer Recovers From Serious Health Scare

Madonna's much-hyped Celebration Tour, which was set to kick off in two weeks in Vancouver, is on indefinite pause after she reportedly suffered a serious bacterial infection and was found unresponsive in her New York City home over the weekend.

The news just broke Wednesday afternoon that Madonna is in the hospital recovering from a serious health issue — and Page Six reports that she was discovered in her Manhattan apartment on Saturday, unresponsive, and was taken to a hospital and intubated. She is now breathing on her own and is reportedly recovering, but this sounds very serious.

Madonna's daughter Lourdes has reportedly been by her side through this health crisis.

Madonna's longtime manager Guy Oseary shared the news on Instagram today, saying that she "developed a serious bacterial infection" that led to a "several day stay in the ICU." She is now out of the ICU Oseary says, and "Her health is improving, however, she is still under medical care."

"A full recovery is expected," Oseary adds. "At this time we will need to pause all commitments, which includes the tour."

In January, the 64-year-old singer announced, with great fanfare, that she was headed out on tour this year, finally giving fans what they wanted in the way of a greatest-hits tour that isn't focused on her one of her new — and increasingly lackluster — albums. The tour was set to begin on July 15 at Rogers Arena in Vancouver, BC, and come for two nights at the Chase Center in San Francisco October 4 and 5.

Madonna posted a series of photos to Instagram on June 20 from rehearsals for the tour, with the caption "The Calm Before the Storm."

It seems more than likely that the 43-stop tour will be postponed for some time, but we'll update you if and when we learn more.

Oseary said he would be providing updates about "a new start date" for the tour.

Previously: Madonna to Bring Greatest Hits Tour to Chase Center In October

The great and mighty Madge a.k.a. Madonna, who has stubbornly refused to ever do a fully retrospective, greatest-hits tour, apparently has seen the light and decided her fans would like to see a greatest-hits tour. So it's happening, and she's calling it her Farewell Celebration Tour, and Bob the Drag Queen is touring with her.

Lending Madonna some "fun" cred while she again culturally appropriates and sports long braids and a gold prosthetic tooth in a new promo video, comedian Amy Schumer cracks wise and helps old Madge unveil her 40-years-of-Madonna greatest hits tour. Also, randomly, the video features a Truth or Dare-esque gathering around a dinner table that includes Judd Apatow, Jack Black, Lil Wayne, Bob The Drag Queen, Kate Berlant, Larry Owens, Meg Stalter, and Eric Andre.

In the video, SPOILER ALERT, Diplo dips his balls in a margarita and drinks it, and Madonna makes out with Jack Black.

Then we get around to the contrived part where Amy "dares" Madonna to do a greatest hits tour — which, as we know from the UK Sun two weeks ago, has been in the works for a little while now.

Here's the abridged version:

Anyway, this is Madonna's 12th world tour, it has 35 city stops, and it kicks off July 15 at Rogers Arena in Vancouver, BC.

Ultimately, Madge will make her way back around the West Coast in the fall, hitting the Chase Center in San Francisco on October 4.

The Citi presale starts today at 2 p.m. local time (for each venue?) for Citi cardholders, and "legacy" members of Madonna's fan club get a presale that starts at noon today, with the regular on-sale date on Friday, January 20.

Fans who recall her Madame X tour back in late 2019 know that even at her advanced age, Madonna still likes to go on stage uncomfortably late, and in that tour, her nods to her older hits were few and far between — though she did do "Frozen" alongside a projection of her daughter Lourdes dancing.

Previously: Madonna Wants To Be Your Mom, Provocateur, and High Priestess in 'Madame X' Tour, and It's A Lot

Shortly after Madonna departed San Francisco on her Madame X Tour last week, her first show in Las Vegas was reportedly met with boos and 500 demands for refunds when she took the stage at 12:30 a.m. — two hours late for her already late scheduled curtain time of 10:30 p.m.

Madonna rolled onto stage at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace technically on Friday morning, as Fox 5 Vegas reports, and much as was the case in San Francisco, it was likely only her super-fans who fully forgave her. Some fans reportedly booed and chanted "refund," and plenty took to Twitter afterwards to complain — after they'd retrieved their cellphones from their locked pouches at this no-cellphone show.

As TMZ reports, Madonna addressed the audience Friday saying, "Here's something you all need to understand ... and that is, that the queen is never late."

Madonna has, throughout her 40-year career, had a reputation for starting concerts late, and for that reason her reps are telling people that this should have been expected. But starting a show primarily populated by people over the age of 35 after midnight is kinda pushing it, no? Are Madonna's True-Blue super-fans just stuck in an abusive relationship at this point?

Commenters on my review of the SF show last week were quick to attack me for sounding crotchety about my complaints about a show ending at 1:30 a.m., but this one in Vegas wrapped up closer to 2:45 a.m. And according to reports from the Vegas show, Madge "rib[bed] the audience by essentially calling them poor." At the SF show, she also complained, two hours into the show, that people were getting up to go to the bathroom and opening the rear doors of the theater, accusing them of having attention-deficit disorder.

Madonna posted a video to Twitter with the note, "Bringing the [fire emoji] to Vegas," and multiple fans at the show replied with things like, "1.5 hours late. Indifferent-to-hostile audience. Juvenile attempts at humor met with audience silence. I’ve never seen anyone less in control of a room. Truly amateurish."

The website Wonderwall heard from sources that 500 refunds were issued before and during the Vegas show.

Meanwhile, NBC News is reporting that a fan in Florida is now suing for a refund for three tickets for which he paid $1,024.95 total, claiming that the original start time listed for the concert was 8:30 p.m., and changing the official start time to 10:30 p.m. significantly lessens the value of the tickets. Per the suit from ticketholder Nate Hollander, "Ticketholders had to work and go to school the next day, which prevented them from attending a concert that would end at around 1:00 a.m."

The suit was filed last week, November 4, regarding tickets that are for Madonna's December 17 show in Miami.

Related: Madonna Wants To Be Your Mom, Provocateur, and High Priestess in 'Madame X' Tour, and It's A Lot

"Are you all starting to get it?" Madonna asked from the stage, at least several times, to a fawning, screaming audience whom she treated at times more like a kindergarten classroom than who they were — a crowd of well-heeled, mostly middle-aged fans who could afford orchestra seats for her pricey Madame X tour.

"Madame X is a teacher. She's a rebel. She's a head of state. She's a mother. She's a child. She's a whore. And she is a saint." (I'm paraphrasing only slightly — no cellphones were allowed.)

Madonna, at 61, sees herself as all of the above, except (maybe) head of state. And in her new tour, which just finished the last of a three-night engagement at the Golden Gate Theater in San Francisco, she is not so much playing a character as just another in a long series of chameleon-like variations on her public self. She sounds every bit the confident, caustic "bad girl" she wanted us to see on the Truth or Dare tour nearly 30 years ago, only she's no girl anymore and likely more invested in her legacy as a performer than in selling albums or concert seats. (Or in making things pleasant for an aging fanbase, many of whom were weary and overheated in a stuffy theater by the time she went on, some 40 minutes later than announced and hours after the theater opened, around 11:10 p.m.)

She admits a little bit of weakness — twice she mentioned tendonitis in a hip flexor, an injury she apparently had when the tour began in September according to this Rolling Stone review, though perhaps this is a second injury. But that's only so that you're more impressed with all the dancing she does.

If I walked away with anything from Tuesday night's show — apart from memories of a truly stunning visual spectacle, enhanced by recent advances in projection mapping — it's that Madonna, more than ever, still craves respect and adoration as an artist and activist more than as a pop icon, but she'll accept a role as quasi-religious icon if she must. She isn't afraid to patronize the kids with auto-tuned, one-off singles like "Crave" (feat. Swae Lee) and "Future" (feat. Quavo) — or "Bitch I'm Madonna" from 2015's Rebel Heart. But her heart is mostly in awing everyone with bold visuals of gun violence, gun protests, and the borrowed soulfulness of her video for "Batuka," which is sung (along with the projected video) with the help of the Orquestra Batukadeiras — a group of African Portuguese Creole women from Cape Verde, whom she has brought on the tour with her.

Much of the new album grew out of Madonna's recent experience living in Portugal while her now 14-year-old son David Banda was at a soccer school. As the story goes, she got bored being alone there while he played soccer, so she started going out to clubs and cafes and fell in love with fado, the guitar-based music genre native to Lisbon. According to this June profile in New York Times, "One night, she visited a Frenchman’s crumbling home on the sea for an improv session, mostly of fado musicians. 'There was a vibration there that was magical and palpable, and suddenly musicians started playing,' she said."

And if you haven't gathered by now, the show Madonna is now performing in small-ish theaters in major cities is a mashup of many things with only the vaguest threads to link them. A quieter central portion of the show, all set in a projected space meant to look like a fado cafe, includes several of her new songs featuring Portuguese guitar — along with the strumming talents of 16-year-old Gaspar Varela, great-grandson of late, famed singer Celeste Rodrigues, whom Madonna also recruited in Lisbon. ("There's not enough dressing rooms for everyone. My manager's not talking to me right now," Madonna said at one point, emphasizing that she still had to have her way and we should all be grateful.)

The show begins and ends with a James Baldwin quote that gets typed on a projection screen multiple times just to make sure we read and absorb it: "Art is here to prove that all safety is an illusion… Artists are here to disturb the peace."

But while Madame X, the show is compellingly odd at times, and no doubt unique as a theatrical concert among her generation of icons, I still can't say that Madonna has transcended beyond "great performer" to disturber of the peace. The only moment of real theater I witnessed was when she sat on the edge of the stage and invited a stranger to give her a sip of their drink and chat. (The handsome military man who complied was clearly a prepped plant who handed her a glass beer bottle full of water, much like one a dancer had handed her earlier — and the Golden Gate Theater doesn't sell beer in bottles to take to your seat. She then semi-convincingly played a beer drinker for 90 seconds while catching her breath.) Apart from nods to the Parkland and Pulse nightclub shootings, Madonna's co-opting of yet another culture not her own and lazy off-the-cuff banter felt out of touch — even with evolving ideas about mental health when she griped about people getting up to use the bathroom or go to the bar as having "ADDDD or ADHD," or when she asked an increasingly listless crowd if their Adderall was kicking in.

I thought about Taylor Mac's 24-Decade History of Popular Music. I sat through that in six-hour stretches and rarely felt very bored or restless. And no matter what I was feeling I knew that Taylor was going to come out with an articulate and thoughtful thing to tie together whatever I just saw. Madonna tended more toward the persona and mode she's most comfortable in — like that too-knowing friend of your older sister who likes to ask you sarcastic questions and never lets her guard down. "You get it yet!?"

For all the ways I love her "Bitch I'm Madonna" swagger and the unique position she is in as an artist and icon, there's a point at which her bravado and aggressive diva-ness are lost on all but her super-fans, and the rest of us are left sighing to ourselves and saying "Bitch, just do 'Ray of Light' already." I don't want her retiring into a Las Vegas residency and turning into a caricature of herself, trotting out her hits and ceasing to look for inspiration. But I can't say that the new material is inspiring enough to carry as much of this intimate show as she wants it to. And I felt like I was expected to worship each costume change and come-to-church moment, spanning the cultures that have influenced her various albums, from Hindu-Buddhist to British trance to gospel to, now, batuque and fado.

There were a lot of slow moments, and the only times she truly energized the crowd were with excellent revisions of 90s hits like "Vogue" and "Human Nature," very early in the two-hour-and-20-minute set. By the time she's taken off her embroidered sari and put on her priest's vestments for "Like a Prayer," which transitions into her finale with the new song, "I Rise," it felt like she'd lost the crowd (except for the super-fans who'd already paid to see this once and were back again). I was ready to rise mostly because I was tired, it was 1:30 a.m., and I've outgrown the person who saw her as a flawless gay icon and god. I see we're all flawed, and Madonna's spent the better part of two decades trying to stay relevant if not quite edgy, and if nothing else I'm happy she found a new music genre to play with in Portugal.

I wasn't the only one grumbling about the decided lack of crowd-pleasers in the set as we all filed to the doors to get our cellphone satchels unlocked so we could return to our realities.

And she still never did "Ray of Light."

Photo: Madonna/Twitter

With the evergreen pop music icon starting her three-show stint at the Golden Gate Theatre tonight, legions of die-hard Madonna devotees are expected to flood the amphitheater for her almost sold-out Madame X Tour stop – albeit very (very) late in the evening.

The postponed SF leg of her latest tour – that, originally, included a single Halloween night show, and which was moved back and expanded to include two more weekday appearances – is unlike any concert series she’s done in decades.

(Read: cellphone and camera-free, smaller-scale, longer, more intimate "conversations" with the audience, etc..)

And, for San Francisco, the two-and-a-half-hour performance is also going to be a late one; the Mercury News reported the showtime had been “inexplicably changed” from 8:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. for all three nights, with Madonna not musing from the mainstage 'til perhaps 11 p.m. or later.

Alas, it looks like showgoers won’t be hailing rideshare till around 1 am – and that’s if everything goes according to plan. Though, you should prepared for an ungodly late 2 am show closing.

And if you want to take BART to and from the show, cross your fingers and burn an effigy to whatever deity you believe in...so that you'll make the train's final boarding time.

BART’s final northbound train will pass through Powell Street Station around 12:10 am, the last southbound train following at 1:05 a.m. However, getting to the Golden Gate Theatre when the doors open at 7:30 p.m. shouldn’t pose that much of an issue. It’s getting back that may cause a headache.

But patient (and highly-caffeinated) ticket holders can look forward to a setlist that includes every single track from her most recent LP Madame X, a celebrated return to form. Below the list of played tracks, per her most recent show at the Chicago Theatre on the 16th of last month, according to setlist.fm:

“God Control”
“Dark Ballet”
“Human Nature”
“Express Yourself”
“Papa Don’t Preach”
“Madame X Manifesto”
“Vogue”
“I Don’t Search I Find”
“Papa Don’t Preach”
“American Life”
“Batuka”
“Fado Pechincha”
“Killers Who Are Partying”
“Crazy”
“La Isla Bonita”
“Sodade”
“Medellín”
“Extreme Occident”
“Rescue Me”
“Frozen”
“Come Alive”
“Future”
“Crave”
“Like a Prayer”
“I Rise”

Tickets for tonight’s show, as well as those for Monday and Tuesday, are still up for grabs, hefty price tags and all. Seats for this evening’s spectacle, available on the San Francisco Theatre’s website, start at a soul-crushing $835, with more affordable – but, still, by no means frugal – tickets starting at $290 for both weekday shows.

And sorry: It looks like you won’t have the chance to meet the Hung Up singer in person, either. Even the VIP packages that top $2K don’t include meet-and-greets, so don't expect to get up close and personal with the Vogue-ing legend, herself.

Can't make the show or simply want to delve into the world of Madame X? Check out her released music videos from the album, below:

Related: Madonna To Bring Madame X Tour To SF's Golden Gate Theater This Fall

Image: Wikimedia

San Francisco wasn't originally on the schedule of Madonna's small theater-based Madame X Tour, but it has now been added. The one and only Madge will be performing her latest show three times at the Golden Gate Theater, on October 31, November 2, and November 4.

The news is likely going to be exciting for Madonna's Bay Area fan base, though maybe not so much for those who have already plunked down cash to see her at one of her 11 shows at the Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles in November. Those shows required fans to reserve spaces in line and then they were granted the privilege of purchasing tickets a week or two later — an initial one-week run at the Wiltern was extended to two weeks due to popular demand.

Update: SFGate notes the detail about this tour that Madonna is forbidding everyone from using their cell phones during the performance. The team is using Yondr, the service that provides sealed pouches for phones that can only be unlocked in designated areas — and anyone seen using their phone or recording during the show will be "escorted out of the performance."

Pre-sales begin Tuesday, September 10, at 10 a.m. Pacific Time for Citi cardholders and for members of ICON, Madonna's official fan club. You can find info about that here and here.

Regular tickets go on sale Friday, September 13, at 10 a.m. Pacific, and you can find those here.

The current tour is designed with smaller, non-arena-type venues in mind, and thus Madonna is performing multiple nights at most venues. And, ever the perfectionist, the start of the tour has already been delayed by a couple of days, due to the polishing of some "highly specialized production elements," per a statement given Variety. The first show was supposed to be on Thursday, September 12, at Brooklyn Academy of Music's Howard Gilman Opera House, but the first two shows have now been swapped to October, with a show on Sunday the 15th cancelled outright.

Live Nation Global Touring, the concert presenters, are offering VIP packages with specialized seating, a backstage tour, a photo opportunity on stage, a VIP pre-show reception, a limited edition Madonna gift item, and fast-pass access to designated VIP merch and concessions lanes.

Madonna will now head to SF after doing 17 shows in Brooklyn, and another seven in Chicago.

Tickets for the LA show ranged from $50 for the lowest end, to between $400 and $750 for orchestra seats. As Billboard reports, VIP packages are in the range of $1,750 to $2,000.

Good old Madge lied to the Boy Scouts of America, telling them she needed a Boy Scout uniform for her son Rocco, and then wearing it to present Anderson Cooper with GLAAD's Vito Russo Award at the GLAAD Media Awards in New York on Saturday. Cooper was honored after a lengthy stay in a glass closet that culminated with his finally going public last year with his homosexuality.

Madonna tells Access Hollywood that she had to lie to the Boy Scouts, and that she doesn't approve of the organization's anti-gay stance. "Sue me," she says to the camera.

The award, named for film historian Vito Russo who died in 1990, recognizes an openly lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender media professional who has made a significant difference in promoting equality.

The GLAAD Media Awards actually happen in several cities at different times, and will arrive in San Francisco on May 11.

Watch, below.

[Kelly Green via WOW]

Haters would say that Madonna hasn't been relevant since the era in which she made this video for the hit song from the Desperately Seeking Susan soundtrack. In that 1985 film, Madonna, at the age of 27, played a lovable scamp named Susan who cavorted around a hip, gritty, pre-Giuliani Manhattan in search of funky earrings and cheap sex. A full 27 years later, Madonna now has an affected Continental accent, bizarrely muscular arms, and a new album she was trying really hard to market to the kids — an effort which largely failed. But damn, she's had a long career — her first single came out 30 years ago, you guys — and she's still kickin.

BuzzFeed provides a playlist of 54 of her hits (including a few remixes) in honor of her 54th. We're sure she'll be celebrating in New York or London with a dinner of pea shoots and green-coffee extract pills, wearing a top she borrowed from Lourdes.

Madonna has this new album coming out. Your over-35 gay male friends probably know all about it and have listened to all the "leaked" tracks, so you can ask them about it if you care. But before the album even has dropped, Madge has released two videos, including the one for the first single, "Give Me All Your Luvin'," which she performed at the Super Bowl and in which the savvy old dame brought in youngsters M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj to give her some cred with the kids (the thing now has 28 million view on the 'Tube, so that may have worked). Now, gladly, Los Angeles drag queen Jackie Beat has done this marvelous parody called called "Gimme All Your Blood," where Madge is basically recast as a Satanist. Fun! (Be forewarned: The audio is NSFW.)

The background dancers/singers are Vicki Vox and Detox Icunt who also happen to have done backup duty to recently disgraced Rupaul's Drag Race contestant Willam Belli in this video from the other day.

[via WOW]

The brilliant Jennifer Saunders (Ab Fab) and Dawn French (French and Saunders) have done us a little "reading from literature," in this case the translated transcript of an interview done by a Hungarian newspaper in 1995 with Madonna, while she was there filming Evita. The interview was conducted in Hungarian, with the questions translated for Madonna, and then Madonna's responses were translated into Hungarian. Sometime thereafter, USA Today requested a copy of the interview, with Madonna's responses translated back into English. French and Saunders read this amazingness, for your amusement. [Dangerous Minds via WOW]

P.S. Ab Fab fans might be excited to know that two new episodes of the show just aired over the holidays on the BBC, and thanks to the internet, you can watch them both on Vimeo, here and here.

Robert Jeffrey shared with the world this joyful lip-sync routine set to Madonna's triumphant "Vogue," which he performed in 1991 during a vacation with his parents. He was nine-years-old at the time. Jeffrey explains:

I performed to MADONNA's 'VOGUE' in the Summer of 1991 when my parents took me to Hampton Beach Casino in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. A business in the casino at the time gave tourists the chance to lip-synch to their favorite pop songs in front of a blue screen background, and I was lucky enough to partake that summer.

In honor of the twentieth anniversary of MADONNA's "TRUTH OR DARE" and in celebration of MADONNA's upcoming "W.E.", here is my nine year old self paying tribute to the woman who changed my life and continues to inspire me just as much today as twenty years ago.

At the risk of hyperbole, this is obviously the greatest video of all time. Happy Gay Pride month, everybody.

Video: Robert Jeffrey / Vimeo