It's not going to impact me, you said at dinner with your parents, while discussing the endless deluge of leaked documents detailing the massive NSA spying program, which just netted Pulitzer prizes for both the Guardian and the Washington Post. That's the government. And now Google, which just changed its Terms of Service to clarify that they have the right to scan all of your emails. Not that not telling you has stopped them from doing so before.

This terms of service change follows last year's introduction of their latest inbox (an update on the so-called Priority Inbox), which automatically filters incoming emails into three distinct categories based on a proprietary algorithm used by Google's automated scanning bots.

Incoming and outgoing emails, as well as your entire electronic mail archive, is fair game. But nervous consumers clinging to quaint notions of "privacy" are reminded that Google is simly at war with the rogue spammers, threatening the peaceful civility of your online activity. It is imperative to Google's mission for you to recognize the manufactured difference between a Viagra bulk email and that tailored banner ad based on your late-night "Best Ramen In Bay Area" search. The change is as follows:

“Our automated systems analyze your content (including emails) to provide you personally relevant product features, such as customized search results, tailored advertising, and spam and malware detection. This analysis occurs as the content is sent, received, and when it is stored.”

The crux of the issue seems to be that it is a function that cannot be turned off, even if users are aware of it and consent to it, though consent online is something of misnomer at this point. Have you ever read any Terms of Service?

“This is not the worst thing Google does,” Jim Killock, executive director of the Open Rights Group, tells the Guardian. “But like anything like this, if people are concerned about it they should be able to completely switch it off if they want to.”

Ultimately, the information gained from online searches, browsing history, and email content all contribute data for a comprehensive portrait of each user, allowing the most specific advertisements possible. Their ad revenue broke $50 billion dollars for the first time last year.

The change comes after a second major lawsuit against the $268 billion dollar company over the bulk scanning of email caches. On March 19th, the Guardian reported on a lawsuit in California over the possible violation of state and federal wiretapping laws, with the nine plaintiffs alleging the illegality of scanning university student emails.

These are by no means new revelations, however. In August of 2013, Google stated in a court filing that any of the almost 500 million Gmail users "must necessarily expect that their emails will be subject to automated processing," and that the digital communications carry with them no "reasonable expections" of privacy.

It's the end of an era, folks. Hotmail, as you now know it, is dead. Sort of. It's all being transferred to Outlook.com.

For those of you who still maintain an active Hotmail email (hi, grandpa!) this means that your account has been migrated to Outlook.com, Microsoft's other email experience. But have no fear as you can still use your existing @Hotmail.com addresses. "[Y]ou will always be able to use your Hotmail address. No need to ever change," Microsoft said. You will also not need to update your phone or other apps.

Why the change? Well, it's about time. Business Insider has more:

Outlook.com announced two new features today that Hotmail users can take advantage of right away. These are Simple Mail Transfer Protocol, a popular and device-friendly standard for receiving your email, and deeper integration with SkyDrive, Microsoft's cloud storage solution. Instead of sending an attachment from your hard drive, for example, it's now a snap to send a file stored in your SkyDrive.

Hotmail was our very first email address after canceling our Prodigy (remember them?) subscription, which we soon ditched eons ago for our cherished Gmail. For more answers to your Hotmail questions, check out this FAQ page. (Or, you know, just get a Gmail account finally.)

[Microsoft]
[Business Insider]

Forty-one years ago today, the first e-mail was sent out by--what else?--a pair of computer scientists, UCLA Professor Leonard Kleinrock and graduate student Charley Klein. Valleywag notes: "The message was to be the word 'log.' Their connection crashed before they got to 'g.'" Chortle. [Valleywag, via Boing Boing]

Los Alamitos Mayor Dean Grose -- an elected official who blasted friends and colleagues with this racist email -- has resigned today. The "No Easter egg hunt this year" email, followed by a White House adorned with watermelon groves, peeved some of the recipients.

One recipient, local businesswoman and community volunteer Keyanus Price, who is also African-American, said that she was “horrified” when she received the e-mail on Sunday, and replied, “Not all black people like watermelon… you should know better than that.” Grose wrote back, “The way things are today, you gotta laugh every now and then. I wanna see the coloring contests.”

While racist, sexist, crass, and extremely vulgar humor can be found in many an inbox, this was an elected official. Really, he should have known better. And the "coloring contests" comment? Well, that's just icing.

Grose says that he will be stepping down as mayor on March 2.

SFist received the following hot tip this morning.

'Gay men and uppers''just the way God wanted it'!!!! Gay men and uppers are two things that God most certainly does not want. Thankfully He is a merciful God, should they repent,He forgives. They will have to face Him one day and give an account of their lives.

This is as good a time as any to remind you that when you partake in lifty substance abuse, please think twice before you send us a tip. This goes double for three-day weekends. Our inbox just can't handle all of the 3:38 a.m. meth-infused rants on Jesus, the state of the gay male, or the "radio transmitters the CIA and FBI put in [your] eyelashes."

Thanks.

Over on the Apple discussion boards, things are taking a turn for the soap operatic. See, user "Susan042764" poses a worrisome (albeit gullible) question on the "Using iPhone,Camera and Photos" forum: can pictures automatically attach to e-mails in your iPhone?

Please help! I took my husband's i-phone and found a raunchy picture of him attached to an e-mail to a woman in his sent e-mail file (a Yahoo account). When I approached him about this (I think that he is cheating on me) he admitted that he took the picture but says that he never sent it to anyone. He claims that he went to the Genius Bar at the local Apple store and they told him that it is an i-phone glitch: that photos sometimes automatically attach themselves to an e-mail address and appear in the sent folder, even though no e-mail was ever sent. Has anyone ever heard of this happening? The future of my marriage depends on this answer!

As one commenter points out, we think your marriage has a glitch, Susan042764. You poor dear.

When pressed about the nature of the said attached image in question, Susan042764 responds, "Well, if you must know ... it was a close-up shot of him pleasuring himself taken at the exact moment of maximum pleasure. (I'm trying to remain G-rated here.) It's such a good shot that one must wonder if he actually practiced it a few times before getting it right!"

Well, Joey Grecos of the internet, what do you think? Has your iPhone attached pics to emails without your consent? Or should Mrs. 042764 find a good attorney?

(By Joe Kukura)

Imagine our surprise when we finally stopped partying woke up this morning to find ourselves quoted by the legendary Matier & Ross in The Chronicle! And – surprise! – we were made to sound completely irresponsible. In the finger-pointing aftermath of Sunday’s evidently-more-rowdy-than-usual Bay to Breakers, M&R assess the situation and identify the perpetrator:

The race's party rep has been building for some time. This year, a local news and entertainment Web site, SFist, even posted a map of liquor stores along the route to help participants through stretches "painfully lacking in places to buy additional smokes and booze for your continued 'running.' "

Whoa. Those guys get reporting from this site? And they still have their jobs?!?

In our defense, our map did note the presence of additional trash bins in Golden Gate Park. The offensive post can still be found here.

Image credit: getinet/Flickr

SFist intercepted this email sent out today by SFPD Park Station Captain Teri Barrett. Teri, it seems, has an estranged relationship with the merriment for which San Francisco is/used to be famous. Leisure World we are not. Check it:

Teresa Barrett/SFPD/SFGO
To: Park Station SFPD/SFPD/SFGOV@SFGOV
[Date:] 05/20/08
[Time:] 11:21
Subject: Bay to Breakers 2008

I am trying to document how out of control the Bay to Breakers was this year. Drunks everywhere, people urinating on peoples front stairs, both females and males, and basically a very ugly event. If you have complaints please email me so I can convey our displeasure with the events sponsor and city officials. Thank you.

Captain Teri Barrett
Park Police Station

Are these the same cops who never seem to patrol Sixth Street, where it's LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME? Unbelievable. Send Teri your complaints of pee puddles, visible genitalia, buzz kills, and how SFPD's time could be better used to parkStation.sfpd@sfgov.org.

Image credit: tingley/Flickr

Let's get right to the question for it is most pressing, shall we? An SFist reader asks:

When should you give up your college email address? I see this from friends who graduated years ago, and it's annoying.

Agreed. While not on par with the war in Iraq or the under-salting of dishes, people who insist on keeping their alma mater's email address, ones usually containing a prestigious suffix, should give them up, say, no later than a year after graduation or dropping out. After that, it's a virtual Lexus emblem.

Any thoughts?