A creamsicle-orange makeover and a fog gradient are supposed to make fans want the new Giants uniforms that no one asked for, but critics say Nike 'mist' the point with these new alternate home-game outfits.

Let’s first get it out of the way that every pro sports team has like a million different uniforms these days, as the latest trend is for apparel companies to pitch team owners on an endless stream of ‘alternate’ uniforms that are almost never popular among fans. But your San Francisco Giants’ latest uniforms — which will be worn this weekend against the Washington Nationals, and every Tuesday home game for the remainder of the season — were released Monday to particularly scathing reviews. The Mercury News declared they “look like a bottle of Glacier Freeze Gatorade,” a lifelong season ticket-holder at SFGate writes that they're “unfortunately hideous” and “uninteresting, uninspiring and underwhelming all at once.” The Chronicle rages the new uniforms “violate the sanctity of baseball itself.”

See for yourself. The Giants introduced these new “City Connect” uniforms in the video above posted Monday, narrated by Last Black Man in San Francisco star Jimmie Fails, and full of utterly meaningless sports-marketing “storytelling” pablum like “We are seven-by-seven miles of possibility.” The uniforms themselves feature a more disco-creamsicle orange that differs from the team’s usual shade, Golden Gate Bridges on the sleeves and caps, a fog-gradient starting at mid-chest, and a ‘G’ logo in a font that has never been previously used in the team’s history.

This all of course a Nike thing, as these “City Connect” alternate uniforms were designed by Nike as a very obvious play to simply sell more hats and jerseys in addition to the ones they already sell. And some people may like the jersey and want to buy one, that is, until they see the damned things are selling for $434.99 a pop. That said, their associated crew socks are just $19.99 a pair and iterate well on the “tacky/fabulous” intention, though it’s unclear if the Giants will wear these socks.

Seven Major League Baseball teams are forced into this contractual obligation deal to wear these alternate jerseys this year, and not all of these new threads are horrible. The White Sox’ “Southside” jerseys are frankly terrific, and the Cubs’ Wrigleyville outfits are a nice historical nod. But the Red Sox alternates are even more curiously ugly than the Giants’, and the Diamondbacks’ are clearly just trying to look like the Dodgers.

Alternate uniforms are apparently now just a necessary evil in all U.S. pro sports, so this is shit that all fans of all teams will have to just put up with every year. But Giants pitcher Kevin Gausman, fresh off a near-no-hitter Monday, had a suggestion. “I think they should have dressed us up like prisoners at Alcatraz,” Gausman told reporters after the game. “That would have been great, but I don’t make those decisions.”

Meanwhile, at the now-midpoint of the season, the Giants still have the best record in baseball, and the Dodgers star pitcher is suspended over sexual assault allegations.

Related: Giants Shockingly the Best Team in Baseball One-Third Into the Season

Image: @SFGiants via Twitter