Two loutish raccoons took it upon themselves to occupy a Redwood City bank today, and both suspects remain at large after their raccoon party free-for-all.
It is that time of year when uninvited raccoons just waltz right in to yards, garages, and even homes with unattended bags of Purina, acting like they own the place, and refusing to respect even the simplest of other creatures' boundaries. And so it was again in a Tuesday morning break-in in Redwood City, as KRON4 reports that two raccoons broke into a bank, then of course ignored several polite requests to leave before the Peninsula Humane Society cleared out the “masked bandits.
Via @PeninsulaHumane: Young raccoons, AKA "masked bandits of the wildlife kind," broke into a Redwood City bank this AM and I am just overwhelmed with this cuteness— Ida Mojadad (@idamoj) October 20, 2020
And no, there wasn't any money missing but they did leave broken ceiling tiles & knocked over a computer 😂 pic.twitter.com/KAudpeAUB7
Just look at them, probably changing the messages on outgoing voicemails, ignoring that food the break room is clearly labeled as belonging to someone else, and approving home-equity loans that are nowhere near credit-worthy. “There were several broken ceiling tiles, and the masked bandits knocked papers around and even a computer over.” Peninsula Humane Society communications manager Buffy Martin Tarbox told KRON4.
These 2 MASKED INTRUDERS were caught red-handed after breaking into a Redwood City bank. “It’s not every day an animal organization gets called to deal with a bank break in," @PeninsulaHumane wrote. The raccoons made a mess, but did not steal any money. 💰 🦝🦝@kron4news pic.twitter.com/nzTDNCBMyB— Amy Larson (@AmyLarson25) October 20, 2020
Noticed by an ATM user early Tuesday morning, the raccoons gave chase upon being initially told they had to leave. “The bank managers let our rescue staff into the bank, and after about ten minutes of chasing the raccoons around the bank, we were finally able to safely shoo them outside,” Tarbox said in a statement to KPIX. “They apparently didn’t want to leave the bank.”
In true raccoon fashion, the little trash pandas’ refusal to clean up after themselves revealed how they executed their caper.
“There were muddy pawprints on a tree outside the bank, so we suspect the raccoons climbed the tree to the roof of the bank, and then somehow managed to crawl into the air ducts and fell through the ceiling tiles onto the floor of the bank,” Tarbox’s statement explained, according to NBC Bay Area. “Thankfully the raccoons were not injured during their morning escapade, and to our knowledge they didn’t abscond with any money.”
Masked bandits caught in Redwood City bank! The raccoons fell through the ceiling after climbing into a vent. The juveniles will not face charges. Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA says the minors were not hurt.https://t.co/e1453Xs4Ex@nbcbayarea pic.twitter.com/65clSlHDf9— Janelle Wang (@janellewang) October 20, 2020
Which is just as well, because they probably would have spent it on fast food and rotten produce instead of putting it into their savings. The pair was not charged and will avoid prosecution, so they won’t learn their lesson and they're just going to pull the same impudent shenanigans again and again. But even if these raccoons were put behind bars at San Mateo County main jail, they’d likely just slip through and walk right out.
Images courtesy Peninsula Humane Society