A string of homes synonymous with San Francisco and late-80s television, the seven Painted Ladies along Alamo Square, are doted on by both tourists and locals alike for their ornate Victorian architecture and storied histories. Now, one of them is on the market for a dizzying $2.75M — and it's a real fixer-upper.
Business Insider, the San Francisco Business Times, Curbed SF, and other media outlets were titillated over the 714 Steiner residence going on the market earlier this week, albeit with one crucial caveat: The place is an absolute dump on the inside. The phrase fixer-upper doesn't quite do the severity of the squalor justice; the Instagram darling is in need of a complete gut-and-rebuild job.
But even in its current dilapidated state, this quintessential Queen Anne-style Victorian won’t have an issue finding a buyer. The last time one of the Painted Ladies went on sale — which was in 2014, a golden-hued dwelling located at Steiner and Grove Streets — it fetched $3.1M, well over its initial asking price. And that one, too, as was noted by Curbed SF, required a fair amount of renovation.
This one — the brownish, two-car-garage edifice at 714 Steiner — also needs a patient buyer who’s willing to flood the place with buckets of elbow grease. Though, the Matthew Cavanaugh-designed home, which was built in 1892, still has good bones after being subdivided into two apartments decades ago.
(The crown molding is still to-era and enchanting in its patina; the wooden banisters and stairs appear strong; overhead decor — lighting structures, ceiling fans, etc. — don't look in need of replacing. Even the antiquated patio and overgrown lawn, themselves, aren't too hellaciously off-putting.)
However, the bathrooms and one of the kitchens in this two-unit building are completely different stories. A quick digital tour of the home’s interior is an exercise in unwavering tolerance. And, in the case of the two aforementioned living spaces, a test to see how well you can hold down your last consumed meal.
Take a look through pictures of the multi-million-dollar grime, below.
Have millions burning a hole in your pocket? Contact Jeremy Rushton of Coldwell Banker for more details.
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Body Images: Courtesy of Coldwell Banker, via SFARMLS
Header Image: Courtesy of piqsels