Apple's new, gleaming white, titanium credit card needs some tender loving care apparently. And for those consumers who want to keep it so gleaming that it blinds everyone who sees it every time you whip it out to buy a latte, Apple has published some hilariously detailed cleaning and care instructions. For a credit card.
The card was announced back in March but just became available to consumers two weeks ago. It's intended primarily for mobile use through Apple's Wallet app and Apple Pay, but its physical manifestation is of course a thing of great beauty that everyone shall covet. As the Associated Press reports, following a tweet about the card's care instructions — which mirror the company's instructions for caring for the iPhone — the mockery flooded out quickly on Twitter.
This is because the instruction discuss things like how to remove stains from the titanium card, and how one must clean it only with a microfiber cloth and never put it in a pocket with loose change. Also, one must never use regular household cleaners or solvents on Apple Card — only pure isopropyl alcohol.
Do not look directly at Apple Card. Do not speak to Apple Card. Do not denigrate Apple Card in Its Holy Presence. When not in use, Apple Card should be returned to a uniformly lit white cube containing only a British man softly repeating al-lu-min-ee-um. https://t.co/GA1RDb3SvV— Alex Stamos (@alexstamos) August 22, 2019
What's unique about this card besides its gleaming whiteness, you ask? Well, it has no numbers on it — your card number is virtual, and it can be therefore changed and reassigned without having to get a new card. Also, Apple has an app for tracking your spending, and the company ostensibly encourages you to pay off balances early so you won't be charged interest. The virtual card in the Wallet app also changes color based on the categories of your purchases. They're a little disingenuous with the tagline "Created by Apple, not a bank," because the card has an issuing partner, Goldman Sachs, which is indeed a bank.
This reviewer at ZDNet was positively gushing after having the card for just ten days, but the reasons behind his calling Apple Card "insanely great" aren't entirely clear. It is, in the end, just a credit card.