Today's edition of Apartment Sadness takes us out to the Portola District, where an in-law unit's design apparently didn't include a bath or shower, until now.
This ad popped up Sunday for $1450/month, 400-square-foot studio —and get this, the owner wants to charge $1850 if there are going to be two people living there, because that's legal?
The unit does indeed feature a kitchen area with appliances, as the ad boasts, and a bathroom with vanity. The "stand-up shower" (as opposed to...?), it turns out, is not part of the bathroom but is situated off in its own corner where there's a bed frame, as you can see.
It was nice of them to tile off the shower area, even if this is a design nightmare straight out of the Cursed Architecture Twitter feed. It also strikes one as a layout inspired by a kinky massage parlor — all the quicker to wash off that oil!
Turning around in the space — and by the way I'm venturing that "400 sq ft" is a generous estimate here — we have the kitchen / closet area.
There is a lovely dining nook for two there, and as promised, full-sized appliances as well as a microwave. But the apartment's only closet is situated here too, so that makes for a design constraint — no room for an actual dining table because it would be blocking one's path to clothes and such.
Here's a slightly off-kilter close-up of those appliances, and an allegedly granite countertop.
The actual toilet part of the bathroom, thankfully, comes with a door.
There are of course a few catches besides the shower situation. It's a one-year lease, and the security deposit is either "$2,900 security deposit for 1 person [or] $3,700 security deposit for 2 persons." Also, "No pets, no smoking, no drugs, no partying, no subleasing."
The landlord is offering free utilities, including high-speed internet and wi-fi, so maybe that sort of justifies charging more for two people?
But what's the deal if you just have a boyfriend who hangs around a lot? Does that make the rent go up too? Also, who really wants their landlord controlling their wi-fi?
If this all sounds like a steal, get thee to Portola. The 54 bus will reportedly take you right there.
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