Let's get down to business. Starting Friday, it's SF Beer Week, the annual seven days and change wherein the San Francisco Brewer's Guild and local bars collude to keep half of this town completely wasted. You love it, they kind of hate it, at least anecdotally, although they do put on quite a show and presumably the revenue and renewed interest doesn't hurt. Here, some curated picks out of more than 800 events around the Bay Area listed this year, as based on an accumulation of data and knowledge.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 10
WOODS 7-DAY BEER BREW DAY: The tradition continues. Head to Woods Cerveceria in the Mission, Woods Outbound in the Outer Sunset, or Woods Bar & Brewery in Oakland to collaborate on a Beer Week ale that's flash brewed in just one week. Pick the ingredients and lend a hand. Don't forget to come back and try it the following Saturday. Woods Cerveceria, 2801 18th Street, Woods Outbound, 4045 Judah Street, and Woods Bar & Brewery, 1701 Telegraph Avenue, Oakland, from 4 to 10 p.m.
OPENING GALA: This Bay Area beer summit kicks off the week and it's the largest of all Beer Week events or of SF beer fests in general with upwards of 125 brewers in attendance pouring multiple enticing beers. Tickets are $80 for general admission or $120 for VIP, but it's an unmatched opportunity in terms of selection, so keep that in mind. If you go, remember it's a marathon, not a sprint: Brewers are known for pouring a bit generously at the event, and although this ain't wine, you should feel no shame in taking a sip or two and ditching the rest or asking for a small sample because otherwise you'll be hammered before you get to taste the proper number, which is something around 20-30. Pier 48, 6 p.m. to 10 p.m.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 11
SOUR SATURDAY: Wake up on Saturday and brush your teeth with a dope sour lineup at the cicerone (certified beer sommelier) owned and operated Old Devil Moon. You can pay per pour or get five tickets for 4oz pours for $20 at the door. Expect offerings from Sante Adairius, the Rare Barrel, Almanac, Modern Times, Toolbox, and more California sour specialists. Show up early and grab Eye of the Avocado's egg sandwiches at their brunch pop-up.Old Devil Moon, 3472 Mission Street, 12 p.m. to 2 a.m.
BEER APPRECIATION 101: Maybe you know you like a few different styles of beers, but if you've been spooked by the beer snobbery that pervades the Bay Area, take this is as a learning opportunity. Sample eight beers with Ferment Drink Repeat's head brewer, a nationally-ranked beer judge. $20 to sign up. Ferment Drink Repeat (FDR), 2363 San Bruno Avenue, 1:00 p.m. to 2:30 p.m.
LUCKY 13 DOG DAY AFTERNOON WITH FIELDWORK: Fieldwork is one of the fastest growing, most exciting breweries in the Bay Area, but it's all the way in Berkeley, and San Franciscans looking to stumble home after several Fieldwork pints can head over to Lucky 13 to drink those on their conveniently located patio on Market Street. Admission is free, and as the name might reveal, this one's a benefit for the dogs of Rocket Dog Rescue. Bring your canine in and grab commemorative bandanas for all your four-legged guests. Lucky 13, 2140 Market Street, 1 p.m. to 6 p.m.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 12
BEER AND YOGA: It's Sunday, so best to feel healthy while you enjoy beer week. Berkeley's Torpedo Tap room hosts a one-hour yoga class with local instructors with a pint thrown in for $15. It's recommended you drink the beer after. All yoga levels welcome. Torpedo Room, Berkeley, 2031 Fourth Street, 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.
SASSY RYE PALE RELEASE AT STANDARD DEVIANT: Lots of breweries debut new beers for beer week, and this sounds like a good one: Two fairly freshman breweries, Standard Deviant and Laughing Monk, put their heads together to come up with a sassafras smoked rye pale ale, an experiment made possible with ingredient from Copper Fox Distillery. Swing by Standard Deviant and give it a taste. Standard Deviant Brewing, 280 14th Street, 1 p.m. to 9 p.m.
CELLARMAKER + RARE BARREL COLLABS: Bring your growlers to stock up on three exciting collaboration beers from two of the best Bay Area brewers, hands down: Berkeley's the Rare Barrel, known for its sour, blended, and barrel-aged beers, and Cellarmaker, setting the standard for dank in SoMa. The beers: Tangerang, a golden sour beer aged in oak barrels and dry-hopped with Citra and Motueka hops; Smashin’ Fruit, a blend of a hoppy pale and a golden sour, age on oak with passion fruit; and Wagon Trix, which is a blend of Cellarmaker porter and Rare Barrel golden sour aged on oak with blackberries. BBQ on site. The Rare Barrel, 940 Parer Street, Berkeley, 1 p.m. to 8 p.m.
ALMANAC CELLAR SALE: Keep beer week going by stocking up for the weeks ahead at Almanac's recently opened tap room on 24th Street. I wouldn't expect these beers, many of them barrel-aged and labor intensive, to be bargain basement prices, but they'll be a better bet here than at Whole Foods. What's more, you can sample the wares ahead of time thanks to their 15 taps. Almanac San Francisco Taproom, 2704 24th Street, 3 p.m. to 11 p.m.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13
BRETT FEST: Get weird with the funky, barnyard-tasting flavors of yeast strain Brettanomyces before beer drinkers decide this trend just tastes bad and brewers agree that its not worth messing up their brewing systems. Social Kitchen and Brewery has been aging their Belgian tripel in red wine barrels for 6 months with brett plus more on stainless steel, their Jasmine rice belgian tripel with Brett from Yeast Bay Labs, and several more beers on Brett. I was totally kidding Brett is fine. Social Kitchen and Brewery, 1326 9th Avenue, 4 p.m. to 11:30 p.m.
CRAFT BEER, BIG DATA: Beer nerds meet regular computer nerds at this event with Fort Point Brewery of the Presidio and General Assembly, the coding/data academy. Start with a tasting, followed by a presentation from Fort Point's CEO about how his company uses big data! Free and includes a reception, also with Fort Point beers. General Assembly, 225 Bush Street, 5th Floor, 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 14
MAGNOLIA OYSTER EXTRAVAGANZA: He was a brave man who first ate an oyster, and he was an even braver one who decided to add 4 bushels of Hog Island oysters in their entirety to a batch of stout. But Magnolia has been doing this for years for their highly anticipated Oysterhead stout, which is typically dark, briny, and somewhat sweet. With the virility promised by oysters according to popular, unscientific lore, it's a great Valentine's Day date. Raw or cooked every which way, Magnolia's got plenty of oysters for the eating, not just the drinking. Magnolia Gastropub & Brewery, 1398 Haight Street, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.
MY FUNKY VALENTINE AT MISSION CHEESE: Dank beers from San Diego's beloved Modern Times brewing and dank cheeses at Mission Cheese are perfectly paired for Valentine's Day. Forget the beer and chocolate pairings and make this your date night. Mission Cheese, 736 Valencia Street, 3 p.m. to 8 p.m.
BEER TRIVIA: New Oakland beer operation Novel Brewing are testing your beer knowledge at their beer week beer trivia that's all about beer. You get the idea. Use your taste buds to source all the answers, bring teams, and expect prizes for winners. 6510 San Pablo Ave, Oakland, 7:30 p.m. to 10 p.m.
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 15
BAREBOTTLE BREWER'S TOUR AND OPEN HOUSE: One of the more exciting and fun breweries and taprooms to open in San Francisco in the recent beer boom, Barebottle is nearly an indoor beer garden, really. Your invited to meet their brewers, check out their production system, and even hang out on their brew deck and sample upcoming beers right from the fermenters. Free entry. No big deal, but these folks like to brag that they won a Great American Beer Festival medal on their 9th batch of beer. Barebottle Brewing Company, 1525 Cortland Ave, 4 p.m. to 6:30 p.m.
LOCAL BREWING IPAS FOR THE BOYS & GIRLS CLUBS OF SF: Local Brewing on Bluxome in SoMa is gathering the IPA gurus from across town — Cellarmaker, Harmonic, Fort Point, Magnolia, Anchor — and stacking their own offerings in the category against those while donating a portion of the day's proceeds to the Boys & Girls Clubs of SF and their work providing community-based services to at-risk youth for, count 'em, 125 years. Local Brewing Co., 69 Bluxome Street, 2 p.m. to 9 p.m.
DIVING DOG BATTLE OF THE BAY: Upping the ante with a little competition, this Oakland brew pub and brew it yourself operation hosts their 3rd annual Battle of the Bay. Contenders include 21st Amendment, Speakeasy, Altamont, Faction, and many more — 17 breweries total. Drinkers determine the winner. Diving Dog Brewhouse, 1802 Telegraph Avenue, Oakland, 4 p.m. to 10 p.m.
CICERONE BEER COURSE AT DRAKE'S DEALERSHIP: Do you know your LighStruck beer from your Acetaldehyde destroyed one? If this, or in particular, the Cicerone Beer certification program, interests you, you're wanted at this $50 off-flavor training course. The location: Drake's Dealership in Oakland, a beer garden serving some of this East Bay brewery's finest, along with great food, in a beautifully renovated car dealership space. Sure, it's better known for beers that don't have off-flavors, but isn't it time you learned to separate the wheat from the chafe? Must preregister. Drake's Dealership, 2325 Broadway, Oakland, 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 16
LAUGHING MONK'S FIRKIN FEST FUNDRAISER: A Beer Week spin on this Belgian Bayview brewer's monthly Third Thursday fundraiser series, Laughing Monk is tapping into limited edition firkins (small casks) of their beer and donation $1 per glass to Bayview Hunters Point Community Legal and the NAACP Legal Defense Fund. Radio Africa and Kitchen's chef Eskender Aseged will be serving food pairings! Laughing MOnk Brewing, 1439 Egbert Ave. Unit A, 6 p.m. to 10 p.m.
BBQ AND BEER LUAU: 4505 on Divisadero is going whole hog on this Beer Week thing. That means roasting a Luau style heritage pig and hosting Fort Point as they take over the taps and add one of their cask conditioned ales to the mix. There will be tiki torches aplenty. 4505 Burgers & BBQ, 705 Divisadero, 5 p.m. to 11 p.m.
DRAKE'S 510 MALT LIQUOR RELEASE SHOW: Truly the stuff of legend, once a year, Drake's brews their fine craft malt liquor and you drink it at Eli's Mile High Club Oakland. Appropriately, entry is $5.10. Enjoy music of the highest caliber from punk rockers FRACAS and more. Eli's Mile High Club, 3629 MLK Jr Way, Oakland, 8 p.m. to 11:30 p.m.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 18
WOODS BEER BUS TOUR: Now that Woods' tiny brewery empire extends from the Outer Sunset to Oakland with stops at Woods Island Club on Treasure Island, why not make a go of them all in one day? Starting at Cerveceria, they'll ferry you on a full "Bay-wide walkabout." You'll also get to try their 7-day brew as it debuts Starts at Woods Cerveceria, 3801 18th Street, 12 p.m. to 6 p.m.
STOUTS THROUGHOUT THE YEARS:It's all abut the stouts, some aged since 2010, others more recently brewed, at the Monk's Kettle Saturday. This one promises to be far, far more manageable than the typically impossible United Sours of America event at Monk's the preceding Saturday. Seriously, stay away from that one unless you plan to show up way early. The Monks Kettle, 3141 16th Street, 12 p.m to 2 a.m.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 19
BREWER'S TEA: It sounds like a respite from drinking, but of course it's not. 21st Amendment is grilling Fatted Calf sausages infused with their beer in their Beer Garden. Plenty on the taps from them and Magnolia. 21st Amendment, 563 2nd Street, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.
KICK THE WILLOWS' KEGS: 50% off all full size pours all day/night at the Willows to help them dispose of their Beer Week beers. Plus, if you kick the keg with your order, you get to pick the next beer on tap. Power to the people. The Willows 1582 Folsom Street, 1 p.m. to 11:30 p.m.