I thought I was so hilarious and clever for naming my dog "The Governor." A one-eyed, skittish Italian Greyhound with only a few teeth and a bad case of alopecia, it seemed funny to me — ironic overstatement, perhaps, — to name him after a one-eyed homicidal despot from a television show about zombies. But post-apocalyptic tyrants don't seem that funny these days, and I have to wonder: Would Gov (as he's affectionately known) be happier if he were named one of San Francisco's more popular dog names?
Now, I've always thought there were benefits in having an unusual name, but no one's ever had to scream my name across the dog park to keep me out of a rotting gopher. "Governor [obviously, I drop the article in times of crisis], do not eat that decaying rodent" sounds pretty dumb, I'll admit it.
Fears like that are likely why dogs in San Francisco typically have simpler, more basic names. According to Rover.com, a platform that connects pet sitters with guardians who need care for their beasts (for a cut of the formers' fees), their SF users gravitate toward male dog names that sound like those of old-timey boxers, and female dog names that wouldn't be out of place in Westworld's brothel.
According the the site, here are the top male canine names for their SF user base:
- 1. Max
- 2. Charlie
- 3. Buddy
- 4. Cooper
- 5. Jack
- 6. Rocky
- 7. Buster
- 8. Toby
- 9. Milo
- 10. Teddy
And here are Rover's top bitch names for SF:
- 1. Bella
- 2. Lucy
- 3. Lola
- 4. Daisy
- 5. Luna
- 6. Coco
- 7. Molly
- 8. Sadie
- 9. Penny
- 10. Roxy
Horrifyingly, Rover reports that among their local users, "dog names inspired by the Bay Area's unique vocabulary rose 18%," citing in increase in dogs named Hella, Bay, Dude, Bootsy, and Cutty (are they maybe thinking of "Cuddy"?).
Use of the dog name "Martini" has risen by 103% in San Francisco, they also report. OK, I'll try it, why not? "Martini! Stop rubbing your ass on the rug!"
Nope! I'm going to stick with "The Governor."
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