When a website called The Hamilton Mare published a report Tuesday headlined "'Mrs. Doubtfire' remake starring Jonah Hill confirmed for 2017," multiple publications took the post from the previously unknown site at face value, and reblogged the shit out of it. (And by "the shit" I mean thousands and thousands of times.) But here's the thing: It was all made up.

Folks in San Francisco are, understandably, a little bit protective of Mrs. Doubtfire, in part because it featured our city so well, and in part because it starred our late, local boy Robin Williams. (The two came together after Williams' death, when the home from the movie because the site of an impromptu memorial to the actor.)

Maybe that's why so many people have sent me links to articles like this one — an uncredited reblog, I suspect, from a since-removed OK! Magazine article on the topic.

"Why haven't you guys covered this?" one reader asked. "Are you guys getting a kickback from Sony not to shit on this?" asked another. So, as opposed to answering to every email, Facebook message, and @ on the topic, here's your response: That was a fake article from a website that isn't even up anymore. It's not real.

As Snopes notes in their takedown of the rumor, the Hamilton Mare describes itself as "A FABRICATED SATIRICAL NEWSPAPER AND COMEDY WEBSITE." He's the "satirical," "comedy" report they published regarding the remake:

Sony Pictures, one of the biggest film producers in Hollywood detailed this morning their plans to release a remake of the 1993 comedy Mrs. Doubtfire. This announcement was made 23 years after the release of the original. With many critics viewing the original as one of the funniest films of the early 1990s.

News of the person to act as Mrs. Doubtfire’s character was also given today. Taking over from Robin Williams will be no other then the incredibly talented and funnyman Jonah Hill.

That is some brilliant satire, y'all. Applause emoji! But Sony never detailed any plans, nor, according to his agent, is Hill signed to any such project.

So you can relax, eighth-place finisher on American Idol Season 9 Katie Stevens. It's OK.

And you can rest easy too, actress Senta Moses, who played one of Kevin's cousins in Home Alone. Your childhood — which it appears you spent acting since you got your first commercial gig at the age of six months — has not been killed by Hollywood, at least, not in the way you thought.

And to the rest of you, Jonah Hill?? If they must remake Mrs. Doubfire, there's only one choice for the star: Hill's 21 Jump Street buddy, Channing Tatum. Accept no substitutes, America.

Previously: 'Mrs. Doubtfire' House In Pac Heights Becomes Robin Williams Memorial
Regarding That Time Mrs. Doubtfire Tried To Buy A Sex Toy