Of course, previous to its big unveiling on September 9, you assumed that Apple's new wearable would be called the iWatch. We certainly did, writing that day that the device "maybe isn't called iWatch at all but just [apple symbol] Watch." But now, Apple's drawn a line in the sand: call it an iWatch, and they will "fucking kill you."
OK, so it wasn't really Apple making the threat. Instead, it was College Humor, jokingly channeling Apple execs exasperated with everyone's continued insistence on referring to the item as the iWatch, not the Apple Watch.
"We appreciate that you people are such slaves to our branding that you're adding 'i's to our words, all by yourselves" the actor portraying Phillip Schiller, SVP of Apple's worldwide marketing says, "but, seriously, fucking quit it."
"If you go to an Apple store and ask for an 'iWatch,' they won't sell you one," a fake Tim Cook says. "In fact, you'll be asked to leave."
It's more likely that they'll just start laughing at you, as the company has apparently fallen behind in production of the watches, and has a rumored "hopeful" release date of February 19, 2015.
According to recent coverage, the devices will cost "slaves to branding" between $500 for the steel-banded version, to $5000 for the gold model.
With that kind of price tag, it seems like you should be able to call it whatever you want, but parody Apple disagrees, saying "the only reason to get it wrong is if you're a total dipshit."