What to gift that hard-to-shop-for parent, employer, or recent romantic conquest? It's a tough nut to crack (side note: perchance this 49ers nutcracker might suffice?), but SFist is here to help. This year we've rounded up the many scintillating options for Colin Kaepernick action figures, dolls, and toys to soften even the most hardened critic of Kaep's long-term viability as a starting QB.

Let's start off with this charming handcrafted wooden cake topper, which shows a grinning (and pretty accurate) Kaepernick likeness drawn onto a less-than-athletically-compelling 3-inch wooden peg. There's only one available at the $40 price point (act now!), but we must admit we're more drawn to the aggressive Ray Lewis and intimidating Troy Polamalu versions (Eli Manning: aww. Tom Brady: eww.)

Then there's this 10-inch Kaepernick doll, perfect for the 49ers-loving plushie in your life. Fashioned of the finest polyester and "plastic stiffener," they really nailed Kaep's chin-strap facial hair on this one, but it's a little lacking in the muscle definition and tats we've come to know and expect from our lanky QB. Priced at $17.95, though, it's a pretty decent bet for a toddler who's yet to develop the carnal desires of an adult blogger.

Moving right along to the action figure side of the equation, we found this pair of players frozen forever mid-stride, just as we'll always remember them. This is Kaepernick as we're familiar seeing him: scrambling for yardage while desperately scanning the horizon for open teammates. And yet Kaepernick and Vernon Davis have forged a solid passing-game connection on the field, which you can replicate with this plasticized duo, each with a foot glued firmly onto an utterly unfootballlike tarmac-looking surface (you can get them separately, but why bother? Kaep needs receivers. Boy does he need receivers).

If you're looking to actively manipulate Kaep's limbs, there's this action figure, which features over 20 points of "articulation" (read: bendiness) to pose in realistic game positions (and, crucially, non-realistic non-game positions). Less bendy is the Lego-compatible Colin, who's defining characteristic, as with all Lego characters, is skin color and helmet (plus, yes, the facial hair). It also comes with a football, water bottle and sideline cap, and for some reason we just can't get this little dude out of our heads (pair him with Vernon Davis, Michael Crabtree and Frank Gore for endless fun, especially if you've got a Lego viking fortress, Delorean, or other 49ers-appropriate setting.

Dishonorable mention goes to the makers of this cartoonish Kaepernick who's not even wearing a helmet (safety first, kids) and this flat-footed bobblehead, which looks nothing like Kaep (although we do applaud the extra-shiny gold pants).

And finally, can anyone please tell us what in the holy hell is up with this recent Happy Meal giveaway item, featuring a ... well it has arms, legs and a head, plus a wispy white beard and a headlamp (???). Is this McDonalds' twisted revenge for San Francisco's happy meal ban?

Happy shopping, Niners faithful.