It may not feel like it, but we've entered October, and that means Halloween is fast approaching. Halloween is a dark and spooky day when the souls of the dead rise up to startle schoolchildren, cliched "sexy" costumes are forgiven, and we delve deep into the fears and hopes of San Francisco's collective psyche. And what's scarier than the ghosts of San Francisco's year past? Here are our picks for topical costume ideas to haunt your Halloween dreams.
Costume: The rental market
Execution: Print out recent Craiglist apartment postings and pin them to your clothing, adopting a haggard expression (zombie makeup optional). Or just stand on the corner with your pockets turned out, looking forlorn.
Costume: London Breed on Twitter
Execution: Shout things like "if you pay my salary, I want a raise to listen to your bullshit!" "You started it," and "Ohhhh I'm scared," then duck down when people to try to figure out who said it.
Costume: The America's Cup
Execution: Options abound within this theme. Try a ruddy, goodnatured New Zealander turned vampire, a spooky dark-winged Oracle boat (we recommend black garbage bags for sails) or a terrifyingly smug Larry Ellison chugging champagne.
Costume: Craft cocktail bar
Execution: Craft cocktails becoming the scourge of your neighborhood? Scare your friends with a candy-striper-esque tray of artisanal bitters, balls of ice, mason jars and herbal infusions. Adopt a deathly serious air and some facial hair, dream up a cute name for your bar and buy some of these if you're missing the requisite body ink.
Costume: Google bus
Execution: Few things get people more riled up than mention of the now-ubiquitous commuter buses gumming up city streets. Feed into the paranoid by scoring a large cardboard box and fastening it over your shoulders with rope. Use finger paint or markers to draw your commuter bus of choice (don't be afraid to get fancy!), and bring along a kitchen knife to slay the bus in a midnight ritual frenzy.
Costume: Karl the Fog
Execution: Drape a grey sheet or blanket over your head. Offer witty commentary on everyone else's costume and try to include puns on the words "mist," "drizzle" "grey" and "cloud." Brag about your sexual relationships with the Golden Gate Bridge towers.
And when it comes to your topical Halloween costume, by all means get creative, but steer clear of Asiana plane crash references. It's just too soon.
Runners up include Peter Shih, Willie Brown Bridge, and Muni mishaps large and small. What did we miss?