The James Beard Awards announced their final 2013 nominees on Monday. The list might surprise you. Or not. Probably not, in fact. It's quite similar to 2012. Let's begin:

First up, Thomas McNaughton is nominated for "Rising Star Chef of the Year." Now, we had dinner at Flour + Water recently where we had a uniformly bad meal. (By the way, we will eat almost anything.) Everyone at the table did. Maybe, as a food critic tried to explain, it was because we dined there on a Monday night? Alas, our wallet cannot differentiate days of the week. Anyway, McNaughton is yet again nominated in the same category for which he was in 2012. Which makes little sense since, for all intents and purposes, it is essentially the "Best New Artist" category. Odd. But good luck to you, Thomas.

Everything that is now insufferable about the Mission can be summed up at Mission Chinese Food. The self-conscious insouciance, the patrons sporting too many bangs and North Face fleece, the stupid-ass lines, the Bender's of it all. If fetch were a San Francisco restaurant, it might be MCF. (Proof: There's one in NYC now. Ugh.) That being said, the food here stands as some of the best in the city. Good luck to Mr. Danny Bowien, who is nominated for "Best New Pop R&B Artist."

Rich Table, nominated for "Best New Restaurant," is perfect. Those of you who disagree can go to hell. Best of luck to you, Sara Rich.

Wait, maybe Quince is the best restaurant in the city. They have really nice bathrooms.

Gary Danko gives you a little muffin cake thingy when you leave. It's goddamn darling and delicious. His bathrooms are also super cute. Good luck to Mr. Danko, who is nominated for "Outstanding Person Cooking in a Kitchen."

Christopher Kostow is the nicest chef we have ever met, you guys. Late last year, we had to go to a Michelin event in SoMa honoring those who won precious stars. Defying the embargo requested by the Michelin marketing team (it's cute when PR ilk try to embargo anything; like a four-year-old playing dress-up in mommy's closet), SFist published the results of the 2012 Michelin stars as the appeared via Twitter. Kastow thanked us personally for publishing them in a timely manner. Thus, he should win "Best Chef: West" because he and his food are simply astounding. (We've never been to or eaten at Meadowood, by the way.) Godspeed, Kostow.

Daniel Patterson of Coi, who is reportedly very difficult to work with, should win "Best Gun in the West" if only for the media manifestos he sends to trembling, kowtowing food writers. That is a lunacy we can stand behind. (Speaking of difficult chefs, why isn't Josh Skenes of Saison nominated? Is it because he's now across the street from McDonald's? You suck, James Beard nominating committee.)

Glaring snubs? Matthew Accarrino (of SPQR), Dominique Crenn (Atelier Crenn), and the bar program at Hi Tops.

The entire 2013 James Beard nominee list:

Outstanding Wine, Spirits, or Beer Professional
- Sam Calagione, Dogfish Head Craft Brewery, Milton, DE
- Merry Edwards, Merry Edwards Winery, Sebastopol, CA
- Garrett Oliver, Brooklyn Brewery, NYC
- Neal Rosenthal, Rosenthal Wine Merchant, NYC
- David Wondrich, Spirits Educator, NYC

Outstanding Wine Program
- A16, San Francisco
- The Barn at Blackberry Farm, Walland, TN
- CityZen at Mandarin Oriental, Washington, D.C.
- Frasca Food and Wine, Boulder, CO
- Picasso, Las Vegas

Outstanding Bar Program
- The Aviary, Chicago
- Bar Agricole
- NoMad, NYC
- Holeman & Finch Public House, Atlanta
- Pegu Club, NYC
- The Violet Hour, Chicago

Rising Star Chef of the Year
- Jimmy Bannos, Jr., Purple Pig, Chicago
- Danny Bowien, Mission Chinese Food, San Francisco & New York
- Thomas McNaughton, Flour + Water, San Francisco
- David Posey, Blackbird, Chicago
- Blaine Wetzel, The Willows Inn, Lummy Island, WA

Best New Restaurant
- Empellón Cocina, NYC
- Grace, Chicago
- The Ordinary, Charleston
- Rich Table, San Francisco
- State Bird Provisions, San Francisco

Best Chef: West
- Chris Cosentino, Incanto
- Christopher Kostow, The Restaurant at Meadowood
- Corey Lee, Benu
- Daniel Patterson, Coi
- Jon Shook and Vinny Dotolo, Animal, Los Angeles

Outstanding Pastry Chef
- Dominique Ansel, Dominique Ansel Bakery, NYC
- Melissa Chou, Aziza, SF
- Ken Forkish, Ken's Artisan Bakery, Portland
- Hedy Goldsmith, Michael's Genuine Food & Drink, Miami
- Brooks Headley, Del Posto, NYC

Outstanding Service
- Del Posto, NYC
- Quince, San Francisco
- The Restaurant at Meadowood, St. Helena, CA
- Topolobampo, Chicago
- Vetri, Philadelphia

Outstanding Restaurateur
- Maguy Le Coze
- Donnie Madia
- Piero Selvaggio
- Carolyn Styne
- Phil Suarez

Outstanding Restaurant
- August, New Orleans
- Blue Hill, NYC
- Highlands Bar and Grill, Birmingham, AL
- The Slanted Door, San Francisco
- Spiaggia, Chicago

Outstanding Chef
- Sean Brock, Husk, Charleston
- David Chang, Momofuku, New York
- Gary Danko, Gary Danko, San Francisco
- Suzanne Goin, Lucques, Los Angeles
- Paul Kahan, Blackbird, Chicago
- Nancy Silverton, Pizzeria Mozza, Los Angeles