Stealing a luxury yacht may always seem like a good idea in the moment, but here's a cautionary tale for all you teens early retirees with too much time on your hands.

Shortly past midnight on Monday morning, three suspects between the ages of 54 and 63 stole a luxury sailboat from the Sausalito marina, loaded it with beer and pizza, and set sail (presumably aiming to cross the U.S.-Mexico maritime boundary?). Unfortunately for the trio, their journey lasted only until they ran aground in shallow waters off of Pacifica and spent several pre-dawn hours being tossed to and fro in the rough surf off Linda Mar Beach.

In what sounds like a dramatic rescue straight from a Kevin Costner/Ashton Kutcher collaboration, a Coast Guard swimmer was lowered from a helicopter to deliver a radio to the sea-sick thieves while Pacifica police gathered on the beach with guns drawn. All three amateur pirates, including one whose real-life prosthetic leg gave him a telltale limp, arrived on the beach looking visibly seasick (read: wasted) and were booked on suspicion of conspiracy and grand theft.

The owner of the 82 ft. sailboat discovered the theft after identifying his vessel on a television news segment. The boat, which features three cabins, three bathrooms, satellite TV and an outboard boat that comes with water skis, retails at around $2.8 million. It took 12 hours to dislodge the battered 64-ton yacht from the sand and tow it to a Richmond salvage yard, where it is being assessed for damages.

The real question on everyone's minds now may be which pizza/beer combo did the thieves choose to fuel their heist? According to early reports, the beer was a "pale ale", but there's no word yet on what kind of pizza was onboard. One thing's for sure, though: according to Jeff Wadkins, a lifeguard and park ranger who boarded the vessel. "There looks like there was quite a bit of alcohol drinking onboard."

[SF Gate]