When asked if he would ever play for the Yankees, free agent Brian Wilson, sporting an unruly beard and ketchup down the front of his shirt, told a TMZ pap this week, "I'm from Boston." Which is to say, he will never, ever, ever be a Yankee.

TMZ seems to think that his answer could be interpreted two ways, but we cannot imagine the beard, a Boston native, playing for the Yanks. It's just not done. Also, the creepy NYC team also has a no-facial hair policy.