You may have caught wind of the fact that Woody Allen was in San Francisco this summer filming his newest, untitled project. Well, SF Mag has it on good authority that the super-secret plot of the film, which stars Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, and Louis C.K., is pretty lame! Get this: "A posh ex-new Yorker (Blanchett) tries to make it on a budget in San Francisco after her life comes crashing down." Since when is S.F. that much cheaper than New York?! Woody's a little behind the times on that one.

So what's this all going to entail? Blanchett being introduced to Pancho Villa burritos and Mission Chinese Food, all while dating some schlub who makes his own beer and doesn't shower (Louis C.K., obviously). We so wanted this to be more glamorous. If not a modern-day Vertigo than at least as pretty a depiction of our fair city as Zodiac.

SF Mag goes on to come up with six fantasy projects for Woody set in S.F. that would have been far better, including The Purple Rose of the Castro ("Trying to reboot his career by going on TV, a former S.F. mayor with movie-star looks and anger issues (Baldwin again) steps out of the small screen and time-travels back to the ’70s ... [and saving Harvey Milk and George Moscone and stopping the AIDS epidemic..."); and Vicky Christina Palo Alto ("A pair of divorcées (Sally Hawkins and Blanchett) attend a Stanford class reunion together, both secretly planning to seduce the nerd they dissed as undergrads (Lost’s Michael Emerson), who’s now an Internet billionaire...").

[SF Mag]