The most amazing video you'll see all day, hands down, will definitely be this footage of a woman named Jane Swoboda getting up to speak at a city council meeting this week in Lincoln, Nebraska on the topic of a proposed LGBT protection ordinance. She is obviously touched (as in nuts), and somehow manages to go from talking about Winter Wipeout to intestinal ruptures from anal sex in like ten seconds. Also, she says things like "homiciders" and "genociders," and she clearly doesn't get out much unless she's making public comment at city council meetings. Anyway, amazing.

She's probably writing a letter to President Obama right now and filling the envelope with clippings from Victoria's Secret catalogs and doll-collecting magazines.

And why isn't the whole room just busting out laughing?

Update: And yes, we neglected to point out, as some commenters have, that she brings San Francisco into the mix around the 4:15 mark. Because the children in San Francisco schools are apparently raping each other, which is why they're getting bad grades, or something.