Locally based, but nationally beloved gourmet jelly bean maker Jelly Belly is hosting a rally for Rick Santorum at their Fairfield, CA factory today. Why is a GOP presidential hopeful holding a $1,000-per-plate dinner at a suburban jelly bean factory? Who knows. Maybe it's part of his "Made in America" schtick. Or maybe the guy just has a thing for those buttered popcorn ones. Either way — and we really shouldn't have to say this — but please, for the love of America and the Easter Bunny: do not produce a Santorum flavored jelly bean.
Look, we know Santorum-themed menu items, both ironic and sincere, are all the rage right now. And those barf flavored jelly beans were probably a huge hit with 9-year-old boys. However, the last thing we need in our Easter baskets this year is a "frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter" in sugary bean form.
Anyhow, have fun at the jelly bean factory, Rick! Don't forget to take home a 2-lb bag of Belly Flops.