Do you like tasting some of California's best wines while getting tied up and slapped across the face? Of course you do. Which is why Femina Potens will host a night of wine and bondage on April 14th featuring some of the state's choicest vino and some of the finest ropes with which to be hogtied. Dominants and submissives (that's you, slave) are welcome not only to sip lovely, woozy wines, but also to taste some of the finest binding from around the world, including rope made in Japan, the Netherlands, Hawaii, and Seattle. "Experience the intricate differences in the ropes' bite, toothy or sleek quality, the smell, the taste, its ability to make your submissive squeal or moan in deep pleasure," exclaims the press release.

If you think your submissive will be allowed to find a young Zinfandel's subtle notes of kiwi, maple syrup, and kitten paws from a wine glass, think again. While dominants get to drink out of goblets and glassware, subs will drink from dog bowls. (Really, you only get the bouquet when its served from a dog bowl.) Also, "Femina Potens will provide 1 blindfold per couple so that your submissive can thoroughly experience the sensations of each strand of rope. Is your submissive unable to attend the event? Ask one of ours if they would attend to you."

Here's the pricing breakdown:

Basic Couples Ticket $50 (Admission, wine tasting for you and your submissive, and rope tasting)

Singles Ticket Basic $40 (Admission, wine tasting and rope tasting for you)

Good Karma Ticket $99.00 (Admission, wine, "assures good bondage karma" — we can only assume/hope that this means intercourse is a guarantee)

Cotact [email protected] for further details and/or accommodations for you and your submissive's needs. Dress code is fetish, formal, lingerie, or nudity. "Feel free to fully express yourself and your kink." You can purchase tickets here.