[By Daisy Barringer]

On the way to the game last night, I sat in the last row of the 89x Candlestick “Express” staring at the throngs of jovial Steelers fans totally unable to squelch my fear that I was about to endure one of the most painful football games of my life. I thought the Dallas Cowboys game and the fact that over 50% of the attendees were Cowboys’ fans was painful, but this was nothing compared to that. Everywhere I looked was a cacophony of black and gold: jerseys, hand-knit sweaters, face paint, earrings, blinking jester hats, fancy sneakers, t-shirts, and the worst: in the hands of every Steelers fan at Candlestick: those terrible TERRIBLE towels.

I knew there were only two ways for me to avoid drama: I had to either keep my mouth shut. Or we had to win.

SPOILER ALERT: We won! 20-3. The San Francisco 49ers beat the defending AFC Champions using a combination of explosive defense, mistake-free offense, brilliant special teams play, and superb coaching.

FINALLY, all the doubters can shut the hell up and give the 49ers the respect they deserve.

As if.

You’d think ESPN’s headline about the game would read something like: “49ers Defense Dominates.” Not: “San Francisco: True Contenders.” Not: “These 49ers Are For Real.”

But then you’d be WRONG. Rather, their NFL homepage (as of the time of this writing), read: “Powered Down: Like its quarterback, the Steelers’ attack is showing signs of breaking down.”

That’s right people. The headline isn’t about how the 49ers dominated. No, no, silly geese. It’s all about how the Steelers broke down. How the Niners won because Roethlisberger was injured. (As my friend Drew pointed out, QBs don’t throw with their feet; they throw with their arms. And Ben did that. Three times. To the wrong team.) How ONCE AGAIN, we won because of the other teams’ inability to score, not our ability to keep them from scoring.

Of course, FINALLY, there are also people reporting that the 49ers have finally “proved their worth amongst the NFL’s elite”. Ohmygod, you guys. All it took was ELEVEN wins against teams like Detroit, Philadelphia, the New York Giants, and Pittsburgh (not to mention the rest of them) to convince the world that we have a dog in this fight. (Do we still use that expression after the Michael Vick fiasco? Probably not, right?)

So yes. The 49ers are finally getting a little respect, but it doesn’t look like anyone’s going to truly believe unless we actually do this. (We all know what “this” is; don’t make me say it and jinx the whole thing.)

So now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get back to the game:

I’m a “get in my seats a full thirty minutes before kickoff” type of girl. I like to boo the other team when they run on the field and scream my head off when my boys run through that weird inflatable helmet. Last night, however, the fans at Candlestick got a totally different experience. Shortly after the opening bars of the Monday Night Football themed played (DUN DUN DUN), all of the lights in Candlestick went out.

Apparently I’m not quite as smart as I think I am because, I’ll admit it, I totally thought the lights went out on purpose. “WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” I screamed in my super annoying, has to drive the people around me bonkers, high-pitched voice that my mother once described as “grating.” (Fact.)

But then the lights didn’t come back on. And the inflatable helmet was slowly sinking back onto the grass. And the JumboTron was black. And, wait: they’d never turn the stadium lights off three minutes before a game because those take a long time to power up. Ohhhhhhhh crap. Black out!!!

Clearly, it was a bit nerve-wracking to be standing in a stadium packed full of people with no electricity (save for a few back-up generators). Not because I was worried for my safety or anything silly like that, but because what if Monday Night Football were canceled?!!! WHAT THEN, PEOPLE?

Luckily though, the lights came back on (going out again in the second half right when I needed to take a bathroom break: perfect timing!) and EVERYONE was ready for some football.

As the 49ers kicked off to Pittsburgh, those Steelers fans were loud, pumped up, and waving those towels like rabid cheerleaders. It was intense. Luckily, the 49ers shut them the hell up when Carlos Rodgers intercepted Ben Roethlisberger (whose name I can finally type without double checking the spelling) on Pittsburgh’s first drive. The Steelers fans seemed to come back to life a little bit on the Steelers second drive, but then: BAM. Interception by Dashon Goldson.

The Steelers’ fans never got loud again.

I’m not going to dwell on the fact that the 49ers still struggled to score when they were in the red zone (the score at the end of the half was 6-0) because Alex Smith finally had a one-yard TD pass to Vernon Davis in the third followed by a 5-yard Frank Gore TD after Aldon Smith (LOVE LOVE LOVE) sacked Roethlisberger on the Steelers’ 17-yard line and forced a fumble. That was one thing I really wanted to see: The 49ers convert a turnover into a touchdown and I was glad we got it while also putting the nail in the Steelers’ coffin. (My goal before I die is to write a set of all NEW sports clichés so that we can move on from the ones that are so tired and overused.)

Another HUGE highlight was: the beer! Just kidding. They stopped serving two minutes into the third quarter, despite the fact that the crowd seemed (from my point of view at least) to be well behaved and mostly fight-free. While I’m actually fine with this decision (less hangover for Daisy), the Steelers fans used it as another way to vent their frustration. (“Your stadium sucks. First the lights go out and now no beer?”) But somehow when you’re WINNING, other people’s complaints just seem, well, silly.

Anyway, the REAL other huge highlight was our offensive line. I don’t know what those guys did in practice this week, but holy protection: Alex Smith went from being sacked 18 times in the last three games to having tons of time and little pressure. (The bad news: Joe Staley left the game with a leg injury. The good news: He said his X-rays came back negative.) We still have some big issues on offense (Smith threw some terrible couldabeen, shouldabeen TDs to Crabtree and Williams), but overall, I like the improvement I saw. Warm fuzzies for everyone!!!

I should also mention one of the most bizarre records that was broken last night. David Akers surpassed Jerry Rice and now owns the team’s single-season points record with 143. That’s right. Our KICKER passed JERRY RICE (139). WHAT?

Less surprising: Aldon Smith’s 2.5 sacks helped him break Charles Haley’s 25-year-old rookie record for sacks (12). Aldon Smith now has 13. And there’d better be more where those came from, amirite, Aldon?

Overall it was a good game. And in my humble (no one believes you, Daisy) opinion, it was a good game because the 49ers played well and forced the Steelers to play badly.

SO:

As you read the news today and watch SportsCenter, and you hear all of the talk about how the Steelers let the 49ers win, how Roethlisberger refused to come out of the game even when his coach tried to get him out, how the Steelers were without key players and the lights going off was to the 49ers advantage and blahblahblahblahblah:

IGNORE THOSE JACKASSES.

The only person you need to listen to today is me. The 49ers are 11-3. The No. 2 seed is ours to win or lose. Facing off in our last two games against Seattle and the Rams, I think we have a great shot at it. And if the Steelers fans want to boohoo about it, at least they have towels to wipe their tears away with.

That’s right:

Let the haters hate. Let the doubters doubt. Let the naysayers neigh (huh?) Because we know the truth. We’ve seen the magic and it makes us believe. Forever faithful. Let’s do this.

WHO’S GOT IT BETTER THAN US?