We know it's probably been a boozy few days for some of you, but this story kind of takes it: A couple of dudes attempting to shoplift two bottles of vodka after the cutoff hour of 2 a.m. at the Excelsior Safeway Friday night/Saturday morning made a run for it in a getaway vehicle, and in the process managed to strike and injure a police officer with their car, and crash into two parked cop cars before eventually getting arrested.

The two dudes, both age 23, have been identified as Jefferson Ostolaza (the alleged shoplifter) and Aldo Fiorentini Jr. of Antioch (the alleged clumsy getaway driver with a Camero). Neither has a criminal record, and both were quite likely intoxicated as this caper began around 2:20 a.m. Two police officers happened to be wandering into the Safeway on the 4900 block of Mission when a Safeway worker pointed out Ostolaza, who very obviously had stuffed two vodka bottles down the front of his pants. Ostolaza made a run for it, and the cops went out after him, demanding that he exit the vehicle. He refused, Fiorentini revved the engine, and one female police officer smashed the driver's side window with her flashlight. The car took off, slammed into two parked police cars on Mission Street, and then as officer ran toward their vehicles Fiorentini allegedly sped forward directly at a cop, who got flung up onto the hood of the Camero and then landed on the ground. They then sped off and were spotted by a Daly City cop speeding and running a stop sign. Both were booked and charged with multiple counts.

Stalwart SFPD spokeman Albie Esparza sums it up, "I guess they just wanted to go to jail." (And too bad Mr. Ostolaza didn't have a vagina in which to stow multiple bottles, as these ladies successfully did on camera.)

This is basically a cautionary tale for everyone who turns desperate for more alcohol after the bars close and who did not think ahead to hit up the corner store/Safeway before they shut down the booze sales. Nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m., kids!

[Examiner]