By Daisy Barringer
There are three things I know.
1) The 4-1 49ers are 2 Legit 2 Quit.
2) My superstition of wearing red undies on Game Day means nothing because I totally wore green undies last Saturday and we still DEMOLISHED Tampa Bay.
3) No one still says things like: 2 Legit 2 Quit.
I’m pretty sure those three things qualify me as your
number-one thirty-fourth source for everything Niners, so let’s see what's up with the biggest matchup of this season. So far. And not just for us, but, like, this is the game to watch on Suanday. Who’d have thought? No one, that's who.
Break It Down, Daisy:
San Francisco (4-1) at Detroit (5-0: What?)
• Detroit hasn’t lost a game.
• Their offense is good. Calvin Johnson? Our secondary has got to get all over that. Detroit QB Matthew Stafford has only thrown 4 INTs this season, but if anyone can increase that number it’s Carlos Rogers. (Love you, Carlos!)
• Ndamukong Suh. The Lions’ Defensive Tackle told the SF Media this week: “You either need to guard me or I’m going to continue to hit your quarterback. If you’re not going to protect me from your quarterback then I’m going to continue to hit him.” Owie.
• 10 a.m. game for SF. Yes, we won two in a row in an Eastern time zone, but the 49ers have a history of losing when they play early. We can’t let this one get away from us early in the game, or I fear we won’t be able to recover.
• WR Josh Morgan is on IR. I’m still pissed at Harbaugh for the call on 4th and 2, but trying to move past it. Of course, I’m still angry at the guy who cheated on me in 2005, so it might take a while.
• The Niners signed WR Brett Swain this week, but how much impact is a guy who just joined the team going to have? (Hint: The question is rhetorical!)
• This game is big. And scary. And has a lot of weight for both teams. Under Pressure. (Pushing down on me, pushing down on you god, what a great song. Am I right? Hint: Not Rhetorical. TELL ME I AM RIGHT. Please. My parents didn’t love me very much.)
• Detroit hasn’t lost a game. So it’s gotta happen sometime. Why not now?
• Detroit had a short week. Sure, it was a short week at home, but it’s one less day they had to prepare.
• SF is the only team in the NFL who hasn’t allowed a rushing touchdown. Neat!
• We may have a depleted receiving corps, but we also have TE’s Vernon Davis and Delanie Walker. And the way Harbaugh is using our Tight Ends is pretty unique and impressive. I approve. Which is really all that matters, I think.
• Alex Smith looks confident. If our offensive line can get his the protection he needs, he should be able to get points on the board. Also, our offense needs to stay on the field, so that our (awesome!) defense can stay rested. AKA: Don’t screw this up, Alex. All eyes are on you.
Listen, this matchup is going to be brutal. The Lions have a great offense. We have a great defense. Whichever team wins this week is going to be for reals. And the team that loses is going to have to answer questions about whether or not they're good.
If the Niners win, people won’t question us. But if we lose (knock on wood), the teams we’ve already beaten will be downgraded. “Oh, sure they beat Tampa Bay, but, like, whatever. That’s Tampa Bay. And the Eagles? Pft. They couldn’t beat Detroit... and Detroit is for reals.;(This is how people talk; I just report the facts, so don’t blame me.)
So yeah. Let’s not let that happen, ok? I really ask for very little. Egyptian cotton sheets with a high thread count, lots and lots of Sauvignon Blanc, unconditional love (ew gross, not really) and for my Niners to win.
San Francisco at Detroit. Sunday, 10 a.m. on FOX 2.