What Twitter employees will lack in $5 foot-longs, they'll more tham make up for in $48 roasted chicken with bread salad. Which is to say, Twitter ilk will hurl chunks of their earnings at Zuni Cafe, located at Market and 10th, once they relocate to the Tenderloin. And for whatever reason this is subscription-required news. Wall Street Journal reports the obvious: "Twitter Inc. is expected to relocate its headquarters in the middle of next year to a few blocks away from Zuni's sun-washed space, bringing well over 1,000 employees to the area. '"It will be great,' said Zuni chef and co-owner Judy Rodgers. 'For so long this was such a shaky, edgy part of town.'"

And edgy it shall be no more! Poverty solved, Judy. We can also assume that Twitter folks will blackout in droves at Rebel, Martuni's, and Chris Daly's dive, god willing. (Pst, you can buy a boatload of tar and really bad cocaine at the hotel across the street from Zuni. You know, the brick one? That smells like human feces? That's surrounded by unhinged loudmouths? That one.)

But what to eat at Zuni, those of you toiling at Twitter ask? Well, not what William Hair, a principal at Bernstein Global Wealth Management in LA "who frequently visits the Bay Area" (?!) recommends. "Start with the oysters," Mr. Los Angeles says. "But the chicken is probably the best thing." Ha! Lies. A tissue of lies. Only the greenest of the green order the chicken at Zuni. Pshaw. Any self-respecting member of the slow food mafia knows goddamn well that you only make the roast chicken at home. Be bold and get the squab, sauteed sole, or anything with sage pesto.

[WSJ]