What's that? You've never heard the term 'alt-weekly' because you're of the new generation that gets all their news hourly, and online, free of ink-stains? You are likely not alone. But sometimes our city's weekly papers have fun/informative things in them. Allow us to summarize.

Guardian

Worth Reading: We're going to put the Guardian first for once because this story about the environmental impacts of the California marijuana industry is totally informative! A recent study found that a whopping 8 percent of the state's household energy consumption is from pot grow houses! And they account for 4 million tons of greenhouse gases! Now, the environmentally sensitive among pot growers are pushing people to do more growing outdoors, like nature intended.

Funny: Once again, we're hard-pressed to find anything really funny in the Guardian. Lighten up, guys, jeez.

Don't Bother: Paul Reidinger reviews Una Pizza Napoletana about a year too late, and misspells the chef's name (it's Mangieri).

Oh and guess what? The Guardian disapproves of the BART cell-phone censorship thing.