Hi, everybody. Welcome to Gay Pride weekend in San Francisco. What's Gay Pride weekend, exactly? Well, it's the time of year when lesbians hold hands walking down Market Street and gay men's pupils dilate to the size of dinner plates. More or less. And what with so many parties happening from today until the wee hours of Monday morning, we here at SFist would like to tell you what to notice and what to avoid. You're welcome.
FRIDAY
Should:
Definitely check out "MR." at Mighty. Seriously. Just do it. It's Pride's 4th annual mustache party. Which should prove fun. Even more fun? DJs Jonene (of Stompy fame) and Miss Honey Dijon (from NYC) will be throwing down their signature grooves on the dance floor. Gays coming to town from elsewhere all seem to know about this party now, so it tends to be fun with a fresh-faced crowd. Great place to go before everyone blows their wads on Saturday. Speaking of which, the odds of meeting someone with whom you might have penetrative sex are high. Very high. Check it out. (Details)
Although the official Trans March after party takes place at El Rio from 8pm-2am, we'll let Violet Blue tell you about the curious unofficial after parties. Which sound like loads of fun. Blue writes: "Unofficial after parties are at the Lexington and the Elbo Room; my g-string-seeking money's on partying with some of the Original Plumbing crew at the Elbo if it's not too packed to get in." (Details)
Then there's SomeTHING Pride at the Stud, featuring the drag stylings of Vivvyanne ForeverMORE and her crew of genderfuck illusionists, which is sure to be good for a laugh. Plus there's dancing afterwards. (Details)
Fine. You don't want to go to a bar or club. You want something classy. You want something with amuse-bouche. You want someplace where you can sport that tacky Versace top you bought in Europe years ago, but can't find the right time or place. We hear you. Please join StyleBistro editor Chloe Harris and famed photographer Frankie Frankeny as they help host a night of networking, dancing, hor d'oeuvres, and booze at dot429's "Celebrate." A delightful and mellow setting where you can connect with other upwardly mobile tech and political homos, while getting ripped to the tits via an open bar. Did we mention DJ Juanita MORE will spin at the decks? Lucky you. The party happens from 7-11pm at Postrio. (Details)
Shouldn't:
Stay at home. Not tonight. Not now. Not here. Not at this moment. See, this is when locals celebrate Pride. You should too. OK? OK.
SATURDAY
Should:
Joshua J's Drag Race extravaganza at Club 8 promises to be very sweaty and crowded if Raja's last appearance is any clue. We cannot recommend this night strongly enough. Because SOMA rules, that's why. As does a Big Top vs Trannyshack fete featuring scores of RuPaul's Drag Race stars. If you can't get through the door at Club 8, just prance over next door to Bloodhound. While they don't have any official Pride party planned, sitting at the bar and fantasizing about joining a civil union, moving out to the suburbs, and then adopting two Romanian babies with one of their bartenders is party enough for us. (Details)
Although Pink Saturday is now a dry event (chortle), you should still check it out. Lots of dancing, public peeing, and partying in the streets. What more does one need? (Details)
Over at the Lexington Club, DJ Becky Knox of Lions, Tigers, and Queen "keeps the delicious dyke dancing going well after the march is over" at Tap That. (Details)
Shouldn't:
Colossus, unless you're 45 and high on crank.
Poppers at the Lookout, unless you like being jostled by tourists.
SUNDAY
Should:
Quit bitching. If you haven't seen the Pride Parade, you should check it out. Sure, it gets chilly/sunny/chilly/sunny and the barrage of wonks looking for your vote is a bit much, but it's a hoot. Kinda. Also, dare we say, endearing. It's right on Market Street. Can't miss it. Starts at 9 a.m. 10:30. Bonus: There will be a the Bradley Manning (he of Wikileaks fame) contingent. Pretty nifty, eh? (Details)
Then, especially if you've been wandering the town since the night before and you need to charge your iPhone, there's a little side-event in the 'Loin at Noble Bar called Short Stop, where there will be iPhone chargers, and fun music.
If you have no idea what Juanita MORE's Pride Party is, you might be beyond all hope. Her annual bash in the Tenderloin, you see, is nothing short of magical. And you get plenty fucked up too. The drag icon hosts Dajae, Horsemeat Disco (UK), W. Jeremy & Christy Love / House of Stank (NYC), Derrick / Gemini Disco, The Cougar Cadet Corps Drumline, Glamamore, VivvyAnne, The Tubway Crew, Erickatoure Aviance, Clifton Brown Jr., and tons of special surprises. Best of all, the action happens at Chambers (at the Phoenix Hotel) which features a swimming pool, lounges, sun, skin, trash, booze, hotel rooms, and more. Tickets available at door only. (Details)
Leave the baggie of disco dust at home, grab your friend's kid, and head over to the playground at Civic Center. It's like a little VIP room inside the post-Pride Parade party hoopla! You can't go in sans kid, so make sure you have a wee one with you. But once inside, you'll see loads of hot moms and dads (queer ones too!) chatting it up. Also, they have several line-free porta-potties that aren't totally disgusting. Downright pleasant, actually. Have a friend hand you a Corona over the fence, and you're gold.
If you want to skirt the Civic Center melee, might we suggest showing your pretty little face at "Hard French Hearts Los Homos" party? It's a daylong bash at Public Works in the Mission featuring a choice lineup: Beyonda/Carnita/Brown Amy, Nick Waterhouse, Erase Errata, Big Freedia, Rusty Lazer, and more. (Details)
Shouldn't:
God bless those whacky kids, but we cannot recommend the Radical Faerie Tent unless you're on copious amounts of hallucinogens and 5-Hour Energy. The place smells like several kinds of BO and fecal mater. Oh, it does too. And way too much flesh is typically revealed. If that's your bag, have at it. But... not our cup of mushroom tea.
Any parties we missed? Please let our readers know in the comments. Thanks. Also, be sure to check out San Francisco Bay Guardian and 7x7 Magazine for comprehensive Pride party listings.
