It looks like local visionary and also ran former gubernatorial candidate, Gavin Newsom, has found himself a new cause - protecting you, clueless citizenry, from the heartbreak of cell phone-induced radiation sickness. The Chronicle reports that Uncle Gavin will be introducing legislation to the BOS today that will require cell phone manufacturers to label their products with their calorie content so the chattering masses will be able to calculate exactly how long they can yap away obliviously before tumors erupt throughout their swiss cheese-looking brains.

As expected, manufacturers of the ubiquitous devices are reportedly prepared to fight tooth and nail in the courts to prevent this legislation from seeing the light of day. Of course, this being San Francisco, where we have the world's most efficient public transportation system and everyone is housed in mansions, clothed in the latest fashions, and fed a steady diet of locally grown, sustainably raised organic produce, we can totally afford to waste the American dollars on beating those evil multinational cell phone corporations into submission in the courts, right? Right. Priorities, Newsom.