by Chris Jones

So, you remember that old 1970’s movie, Logan’s Run, where Logan and Jessica 6 take a space shaped monorail pod thing to the bad part of the dome where they’re promptly assaulted by sassy gang members speaking the hip lingo of tomorrow’s youth? Well, according to today’s Examiner, it looks like everyone’s favorite public agency, the MTA, may be considering ripping out all the Muni buses in town and finally moving public transportation into the “Space Age” with our own Logan’s Run style public transit system just like we deserve. OK, not really. Apparently, the MTA recently entertained a pitch from Mountain View based Unimodal, Inc., proposing the installation of their SkyTran personal rapid transit (PRT) system as a total solution to the never ending problem of dragging people up and down Geary Boulevard and Van Ness Avenue.

The SkyTran system consists of the above mentioned pod thingies, just big enough to fit two people (i.e., you and your sweetie, a prostitute and her john, Gavin and his hair, etc.), that are propelled along a fixed guideway using newfangled maglev technology from deepest space. Theoretically, the pods can reach speeds of over 100 miles per hour and, unlike buses, will show up to cart you and your plus one to dinner and a show whenever you please. Just ride the elevator to the PRT platform, press a button, and presto! Your own PRT pod arrives, free of smelly poor people and words like “jive turkey” scrawled all over the walls with a black magic marker.