THEATER: Golden Thread Productions presents the world premiere of Ecstasy | a waterfable, which was Inspired by the 9th century Sufi fable, "When the Waters Were Changed," where stories are "written in water, spells are cast through washing, and to drink either creates your life or rips it from you."

5 p.m. // Thick House, 1695 18th St // $10

FILM: This week's Bad Movie Night gem is Mel Gibson's The Patriot. "Lose yourself in Mel's big beautiful Jew-hating eyes," says the Bad Movie Night organizers. Jim Fourniadis, Mikl-Em and A.J. Margolis will add their scathing commentary.

8 p.m. // The Dark Room (2263 Mission St) // $5

CLUB: It's the first anniversary celebration of Sweater Funk, a weekly night of late '70s and early '80s mid tempo soulful boogie and 2-step soul gems, all on vinyl, in the heart of Chinatown.

9 p.m. // Li Po Lounge (916 Grant Ave) // free