by Tiffany Maleshefski

Heartbroken about missing the Britney Spears show in Oakland last night? Chin up. Because the only thing you missed was the tramp-y attire on the mob of tweens, teens, and grown women in honor of their favorite, busted-up idol.

Fan fashion aside, the Circus Tour lacked one important thing: Britney. On the rare occasions Spears took the stage, the bulk of her time was spent walking really fast or walking really slow. Every now and then, though, she'd pause to swish her hips back and forth or gyrate against something. Throw in dramatic hair whipping, and that's pretty much the show. Sad.

When she wasn't on stage -- which was around 75 percent of the time -- crowds were entertained by the large volume of circus performers Brit hired to kill time while she changed from one sparkly bra and pantie set to the next. (If you can't give fans their favorite star, a magician pulling scarves out of his pocket wasn't a good substitute.)