So. Disgraced former San Francisco Supervisor Ed Jew is about to be sentenced for numerous illegal activities. Naturally, he wants a light sentence. What does his lawyer, Stuart Hanlon, do? He accuses Jew of being mentally retarded. (Well, that would explain being on the SF Board of Supervisors thing, but seriously folks...)
In a legal document filed Tuesday in federal court, Halon claimed that "Jew deserves leniency in his punishment ... because he suffers from a 'severe brain injury' sustained when he was struck by a motorcycle as a young boy." It seems he received the alleged permanent brain fart after "he was struck on the head by the handle bars of the motorcycle and catapulted in the air, falling on his head on the pavement."
But wait, there's more! It seems Jew fell victim to two other catastrophic head injuries: when he was struck by a truck while crossing a street and when he was "beaten up by several juvenile gang members," because he refused to join a gang in high school. This, according to his lawyer, is why he extorted Quickly stores and abused his power while serving on the Board of Supervisors.
Ed Jew's sentencing happens this Friday.