FILM: The San Francisco Silent Film Festival presents the rare German works of Ernst Lubitsch. (You know, the guy who directed Ninotchka.) The Lubitsch Touch is described by some as "sophistication, style, subtlety, wit, charm, elegance, suavity, polished nonchalance and audacious sexual nuance." (Of course, this comes as little to surprise since Lubitsch was born on January 28, widely considered to be the day of the calendar year to give birth.) So, come get touched at tonight's "Rare Silent Films by Ernst Lubitsch."

Tonight's films: Ich möchte kein Mann sein / I Don’t Want to be a Man (the tale of a teenager who escapes her tutor and guardian by dressing as a man and diving head first into Berlin’s nightlife) and Die Austernprinzessin / The Oyster Princess (Quaker looks for a husband for his spoiled daughter).

7 p.m. // Goethe-Institut (530 Bush) // suggested donation $5

CLUB: While the thought of this week's Web 2.0 Expo makes us want to rip our eyelids out / chew our thumbs off, SOMA multipurpose venue with booze PariSoMa chases those thoughts away. So, might we suggest checking out their "Web, Wine, and Cheese" event? It's a schmooze fest with other Web 2.0-wads. But best of all? There will be a sampling of local and French wines and cheeses in their beautiful converted loft space, and the score for the evening will be provided by PariSoMa’s own DJ Melanie (Club Neon, All Fall Down, WestAdd Radio).

7 p.m. - 11 p.m. // PariSoMa (1436 Howard) // free