CLUB: The Transfer closed down, and in its placed popped up the Bar On Church (via the makers of Bar On Castro). Elderly gays cried foul. Why Because they like bars that smell of urine, feces, and memories of their youthful days; but the young gays are so horny and tweaked, they don't care so long as the booze is cheap and the music seizure-inducing. Find the latter group tonight at "Manic Monday," where DJs Dangerous Dan and Mark Andrus play (what else?) '80s jams while the barely-legal boys carefully sip 80-cent cosmos ($1.80 for the larger cup!) until dawn. Klassier than a glass of chardonnay!

10 p.m. // The Bar on Church (198 Church) // free

READING: A convergence of geeks will read their latest works tonight. (Psst, anyone who proudly calls themselves a "geek" or "nerd" isn't. Real dorkwards don't know they are.) "Geek Reading" boasts Cory Doctorow (reading from his novel, Little Brother, a "story of high-tech teenage rebellion set in the familiar world of San Francisco"), Rudy Rucker, Annalee Newitz, and Charlie Jane Anders.

7 p.m. // 111 Minna Street (between Howard and Mission, off 2nd Street) // Admission is $25, but nobody gets turned away for lack of funds