As expected, bars and booze are one of the few sectors in this harrowing economy to see a spike. With people getting laid off and melancholy's stench in the air, it's only human nature to self-medicate. According to SF Examiner (via Eater), "Bars, pubs and other purveyors of intoxicating elixirs saw more job growth in the past year than any other business sector — even as most other businesses in San Francisco and San Mateo counties lost jobs."

Are you an bar or pub owner who has not seen a rise in sales? Most likely, the fault is yours. A few tips: Extend happy hour until 9 p.m. or 10 p.m. "Oh, it's more complicated that that," you say? No. No, it's not. Ditch the narrow 5 p.m.-7 p.m. window, and watch your thirsty clientele (and your empty bank account) grow.

Also, $7 is not a deal for a cocktail. No, it's not. Not by the longest shot. Even if it's been prepared by a mixologist with a fauxhawk. Set a pint of beer at $3 (at the most) and booze (even for the top-shelf stuff) at $4-$5 a during happy hour. Period. You'll see more people trickle into your bar, restaurant, or club.

Serve Pepperidge Farm Goldfish in lieu of pretzels at the bar. Not only are the little fish tastier than dry, disgusting, tasteless pretzels, but they're also higher in sodium. Snackers will need at least one more beer.

And wine bars? With your $7 for a half-empty glass of white wine? Yeah, you're pretty much out of gas. But it's been real.