The annual Macworld Expo kicked off this morning, with new versions of new versions of iLife and iWork being introduced. Also, the 17-inch MacBook Pro will get a unibody enclosure makeover. (That is to say, it will be less than an inch thick, making it the world’s most anorexic 17-inch notebook to date. Oh, and it will continue to sell for $2,799.)

Also, in addition to the snooze-worthy software updates, you'll be able to watch live TV on your iPhone, which is cool.

In other news, Apple CEO Steve Jobs is not dead. The Apple sect site MacRumors, according to Valleywag, was hacked today and falsely reported that Steve Jobs died. He is alive, just riddled with imbalanced hormones.

Also, Apple VP Philip Schiller delivered today's keynote speech. Many a Mac fan incorrectly assumed Jobs would make a surprise appearance on the Moscone stage this morning. That wasn't the case. Jobs, while highly entertaining, is simply no Liza Minnelli. He does not stop shows with a Molotov cocktail of razzle and dazzle. Sorry, Apple fans.

The Expo runs until January 8. Macworld Expo attendees are considered the most considerate conventioneers all year at Moscone Center.