In honor of Jewish Christmas -- which is today, right? or ended yesterday? or maybe in a couple of weeks? who's to say?! -- we feel pressed to remind you that February 2, 2009, is Official Hug a Jew Day.

This could be the single most awesome holiday ever invented. And the rules are so simple:

  • Every Jew that you see you must address with a hug
  • This is an event for everybody around the world, Jews and non-Jews to hug Jews
  • Some religious Jewish people, it seems, can not touch the other sex, so be careful: If you have the slightest doubt, you may want to ask them before you hug them
  • Jew, in this event, "includes any sect or part of Jewishness" (i.e., half, quarter, traditional, conservative, reform, orthodox, chareide, chabad, executive producer, agent, general practitioner -- ALL JEWS INCLUDED)

So start chipping away at your goy iciness, and get ready to wrap you arms around the warmest, fuzziest, cuddliest Jew you know. Hell, even George W. Bush is getting in on the action.