With the 15-hour time difference between Beijing and our fair Bay Area, there will be occasions on which today's Hot Bay Area Olympian has already competed by the time you read this. But the contest has not yet been broadcast, and this is some action that is rather likely to be televised. It's that unapologetically soft-porn invention called Beach Volleyball... known for it's skimpy outfits and provocatively-placed hand signals. And it's such the rage that even our numskull President GWB is getting in on the action!

Orinda native Nicole Branagh and her partner Elaine Youngs will do/already did battle with the formidable German tandem of Okka Rau and Stephanie Pohl. That's right, we called her teammate "her partner." And when you replace your partner with a new partner in Beach Volleyball, it's called "breaking up." Is it an accident that the language of this unusually-titillating sport is also the terminology used in romantic relationships? Marketing, baby.

Image: United States' Nicole Branagh reacts during her beach volleyball match against the Netherlands at the Chaoyang Park Beach Volleyball Ground at the Beijing 2008 Olympics in Beijing, Saturday, Aug. 9, 2008. (AP Photo/Natacha Pisarenko)