-- Tease-O-Rama Meet 'N' Greet: Before the sluts of the weekend-long burlesque convention Tease-O-Rama have you sporting erections via cheeky performances, come meet them for an intimate night of, um, conversation. Also, '60s, '70s, and '80s will flood the dance floor care of the California Kid. Starts at 9 p.m. at Rickshaw Stop; $5.

-- St .Francis Day Animal Blessing: Yeah, this sounds like the best thing, ever. Come get your dog or cat blessed, so you can spend eternity in heaven with your best friend. OK, you're right, no one in SF is going to heaven (if there is one, that is.) 7 p.m. at Episcopal Church of St John the Evangelist; free.

-- Gary Gulman: Part of the emerging trend of comics you want to spoon, Gary Gulman is as funny as, but not as tool-y as, Dane Cook. He goes on at 8 p.m. at Cobb's Comedy Club, $15.

Cock-T's image credit: DJTennessee