First off, if you haven't read The Road by Cormac McCarthy yet, drop everything and do it. It's a fast read. It's also one of the most amazing books we've ever encountered--don't let Oprah's choosing it for her book club turn you off of it. In fact, be thankful, because she has also managed to nab an interview with the incredibly press-shy author. You can see the conversation on her show today at 4 p.m. on ABC. (A rerun of the episode is set to air Sunday at 11:35 p.m.)

From the sublime to the ridiculous. NBC's "America's Got Talent" premieres at 9 p.m., with Jerry Springer replacing last year's host Regis "Coronary!" Philbin, and Sharon Osbourne replacing Brandy "Vehicular Manslaughter" Norwood. But don't worry. David "I Can Has Cheezeburger" Hasselhoff is returning. Let's just hope the show has the balls to award someone who can break things with his ass cheeks the winner this time around, instead of another "American Idol" reject.

From the ridiculous to the even more ridiculous. Kathy Griffin takes over Bravo tonight with an hour stand-up special, "Everybody Can Suck It" at 9 p.m. and the season three premiere of "My Life on the D-List" at 10 p.m. Sadly, we hear her father passed away, and that will be addressed this season. A shame because visits from her booze-loving parents were always a highlight of the show.