It's a tough biz, the tourism industry -- the cops had to break up a fight between the Bush Man, the Clown Man, and the Fisherman over who got to work what turf on Fisherman's Wharf last weekend. Doesn't the Bush Man just sneak up on the other guys' turf when they're not looking?

A large mysterious package in the Sunset on Noriega and 24th occasioned a call to the SFPD bomb squad. Turned out it just contained videotapes.

There's been a bunch of fires in Los Gatos lately -- most notably, a fire in the local nudist resort. Put away the weenie roast jokes -- no one was injured.