The city's disaster-alert network just texted us an alert! It would seem that the City College of SF (Phelan Campus) is having some electrical problems, and may not have their power switched back on until 4pm. the alert insists.

REMAIN CALM. DO NOT PANIC. TOAST YOUR BREAD ELSEWHERE; OR BREAK OUT YOUR EMERGENCY BREAD-TOASTING BUTANE LIGHTERS.

This is the first exciting alert for AlertSF since last December's warning about high waves at the beach. Good heavens, what would we do without these life-saving warnings? We look forward to future alerts about running with scissors and tips for avoiding hairy palms.

"DO NOT CALL 9-1-1 for more information,"